White Mama, Black Son

Recently, a dear friend of mine asked me whether or not adopting a child of a different race has changed my worldview and if so, how?  I’d never really thought about it before, but then answer is: Yes. It has, but not in the way you’d imagine. The question was asked, I believe, regarding a black/white standpoint: White Mama, Black Son. Adopting a black child hasn’t changed our racial worldviews, per se, because we were just as concerned for equality in all races BEFORE our adoption as we are AFTER our adoption. Rather, it has made us more aware as to how far the world still has to go in acceptance. Our family firmly believes that, regardless of skin color, regardless of race, regardless of any differences, the Lord created us all in His image. We are equals and it has always bothered us that not everyone thinks like we do.

When we followed in obedience in adopting our son, we knew there would be stares, questions, and “concerns” born out of ignorance, but we were comfortable enough in our FAITH to bring home a child that doesn’t look like us. Our bio son and daughter both have fair skin, blonde hair, & blue eyes. Basically, they’re little American Swedes. I hate when people say things like, “we don’t SEE color.” Obviously, we “see” color, but diversity is beautiful and our black son is just as handsome and adorable as our white son. We recognize the differences in skin color because it’s THERE, but we APPRECIATE those differences. My white son will never have dark skin. My black son will never have light skin- BUT BOTH SONS ARE IN THE SKIN GOD GAVE THEM AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL, NO MATTER THE COLOR. We encourage them to be proud of their differences.

For us, the change in our worldviews stems not from adopting a “black” child, but rather from adopting a Ugandan child. I see things differently now from a socio-economic standpoint rather than a racial one. Let me explain: Prior to my visiting an actual orphanage, I was clueless about poverty. My knowledge of third world countries came from Sally Struthers and UNICEF commercials and I wasn’t prepared for the reality-check I would receive. Our family lives what we consider to be a “typical, upper-middle class lifestyle” only I have realized since spending time in Africa, that THERE IS NOTHING TYPICAL ABOUT OUR LIFE.  You guys, regardless of what your income is, you’re STILL wealthier than most people in the world. Side note: We live in a country where people spend more on their pets than they do in helping others. That’s messed up, y’all.  

Before I visited Uganda, I wasn’t so concerned with things like government assistance programs or education bills, or Community /Charter Schools. I now see the importance of every one of those government run programs and how crucial it is that they operate legitimately and effectively. Believe it or not, free public education is not available in other countries. And education was the ONE thing that EVERY kid we met in Uganda asked for. School isn’t free there. In fact, school is so expensive there that most families cannot afford to send their kids at all. Seeing that, made me realize the disadvantage that Community or Charter Schools would put lower income neighborhoods in. Evidently, our city has coin-tossed this idea for a while now and I’ve really never thought twice about it until now. For me, my kids would be in a great school with plenty of private funding available to buy resources such as iPads for classrooms, SMART boards, etc. But what about the lower income housing? Those kids would be disadvantaged over higher income neighborhoods. The teachers may be just as great & the kids are just as smart, but when the funds aren’t there to provide the same tools that “rich” schools get, it could create lower test scores, lower GPA’s, less chances of scholarships simply because the tools aren’t there.

I realize this post got a little scattered, but in my head it all totally makes sense.

 

One last note: Someone at a nail salon once tried to discourage me from adopting a darker skinned child because she warned, “He won’t fit in with blacks or whites”. Nonsense.  As Christ following parents, we aren’t here to make sure our kids “fit in” with peers. We’re here to make certain our kids STAND OUT IN FAITH. Our goal is to lead our kids to Christ in faith and by example and then sit back while they form Jesus-loving, God-fearing relationships with people of all color. I don’t want my kids “fitting in” with whites or blacks or Hispanics or Asians: I want my kids fitting in with Christ followers. True that.

Pickle's back. Back again. Pickle's back. Tell a friend.

NAH NAH NAH NAHNAH, NAH NAH NAH NAHNAH...

So much has happened in my life over the past year, but it can basically be summed up like this: kids, man. No one told me that when you had kids, life basically stops and all your hobbies are dropped like bad habits. No one. It HAS been pretty awesome though. In the past year, Bebe became a seven year old level two green belt in tae kwon do ninja warrior, Sir turned four and plans to be the next David Beckham, we adopted three year old, LP, from Ug@nda, and MP had to talk me out of selling all of our worldly possessions and moving us all across the ocean to Africa to live with and serve orphans. I was serious. He was not. I’ll wear him down one day. Trust.

Also, we’ve gotten two cats, one cat ran away, but we still have the angry, hate-filled cat that my kids call “Stoppit”. But you have to say it with demon-possessed disgust. That’s how you pronounce it correctly. She hates us way more than we hate her, but she lives outside and kills stuff a lot so she stays. Plus, we're afraid of her. Have you seen Pet Semetary?

What else? Oh, we released our catfish, Jerry, into the wild because he became too big to live in our fish tank. And he ate all the other fish so that earned him a one-way ticket to the Reservoir. Once he was gone we bought some goldfish affectionately known as “Feeta”, “Fishy”, and my personal favorite “Colonel Mustard”.  They are worthless, but the kids enjoy feeding them so there's that five minute entertainment every day. It buys me silence for *blink* THAT long.

 

MP and I are doing well. We celebrated our 12 year wedding anniversary this past weekend which was awesome because it was also Father's Day and our nieces birthday. And I was sick. We need a do-over celebration is what I'm saying.

 

And finally, since I last blogged, I changed jobs twice, MP was promoted and has also started a side business with two other partners, I won a personal trainer for 90 days, lost 15#, and subsequently gained it all back as soon as LP arrived home, and we are now a two-minivan family. So how cool is THAT?!

I’m tired a lot. LP is adjusting to us. The older kids are adjusting to LP. It's not easy, but it's wonderful. We work hard, we play hard, we love hard and we laugh a lot.

It’s been a big year.

 

cp

Childlike Faith

When Kindergarten let out for the summer of 2012, Brogan announced that she was going to be “the BEST reader in the 1^st Grade”. She decided she would read 50 books before the end of summer (actually, she has just changed this date to July 25 – I don’t know why, she picked the date herself J ). As incentive to help her reach her goal, Marty and I offered her $0.25 for every book she read. So we began frequenting the library as often as we could and she read. And read some more. And is still reading. With these last library books at home, she will have read 27 books as of this week- leaving only 23 books to read in 4 weeks). This does NOT include the books she reads at her summer care facility – these are only the books we personally have witnessed her reading. She loves to read, but even more than that – she loves to give.

At 6 years old, she has a bigger heart than most adults I know. She was blessed with a giving, compassionate spirit. She has a heart for others and is super excited about our upcoming adoption. She and Swaid have been involved in the adoption plan from the very beginning. We don’t hold anything back – they understand that some kids don’t have parents and WHY some kids don’t have parents. We speak to them about it in truth and in love. Swaid is only 3, but he seems to grasp the general concept. Brogan has always been very wise – much too wise for a child J She understands what it means to be an orphan and although she still has some “6 year old ideas” about certain things, she wants to help these kids.

On the evening of Sunday, June 24, 2012, we handed Brogan and Swaid their weekly allowances. We asked them what they’d planned on doing with their hard-earned money and Brogan told us she wanted to use all of her allowance, as well as, her “book money” to buy things to send to some kids in Africa. Specifically, to the orphanages we visited and to one very special place where a VERY special 2 year old little boy named “L” lives. We talked about certain things they needed such as baby wipes, over-the-counter children medications, dental supplies, water purification tablets, vitamins, hard candy, etc. She recently went to the dentist and this was on her mind so she decided to send them all toothbrushes, toothpaste, and flossers – kid LOVES to floss, yall. She then asked us how she could earn even more money and after much discussion, she ultimately decided to just read more books at $0.25 a piece.

You guys, my heart exploded. Our daughter just told us she was going to spend her money on dental supplies for kids in 3^rd world country orphanages! I wish I could say that her response surprised me, but honestly? This is the kid that when given the choice of buying 2 presents at the dollar store, will ALWAYS choose to buy one for her brother. This is the kid that routinely gives up her seat to her brother because she knows it will make him happy – without being asked to do so. This is the kid that once bought a present for the bully at school because she didn’t believe he had been given presents before. This is the kid that wishes upon stars every night for every child in the world to have a home. This is the kid that blew out her 6^th birthday candles and wished for $100 so she could buy orphans candy and toys. This is the kid that prays at night and asks God to make her “a better person”. She may have just turned 6 in May 2012, but she is more mature than a lot of adults I know.

Naturally, I did what any proud parent would do in this type of situation: I took it to Facebook. Within minutes and without solicitation, we started receiving  matches for every book she reads. As of today, she’s up to $5.50 per book and has received dental supply donations from Germany Family Dental in Brandon, as well as, Tony Lee, DMD in Florida! If she meets her goal of 50 books by July 25, then she will have earned $275 & dental supplies for some very special kids across the world. Not only that, but by sharing her idea, she has inspired kids as far away as California to host their own Read-A-Thons to help in their family's own adoption fundraising!

We are so proud of our kids. Our children are incredible and we give ALL glory and thanks to their Maker for entrusting them to us!

Mark 10:15

¹⁵ Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

Adoption Update

I’ve been a little quiet on the adoption forefront, but I will say this: we are working with an orphanage that has become very special to us. There are SO many great kids that need loving homes and I’m excited to be a part of this. I ask that you continue to pray for us as we wait. I hate waiting. Like, a lot. There is a certain little nugget that completely stole our hearts while we were there. His case is being investigated, but really, I cannot tell you anything else. Please pray that this little boy be reunited with family IF love and care could be provided. If it cannot be, we would love to welcome him into our homes with open hearts. Either way, we know God will sustain him. And me. I hate to wait. Like, a lot. And I REALLY wanna hug him right now J

Also, if you haven’t already  -puhleeze go over to my friend, Christen’s, blog and read all about her adoption and how you can help be a part of it!

http://lovewithrecklessabandonment.blogspot.com/

love
~cp

Easter

The consumer idea of Easter is colorful eggs, chocolate bunnies, candy, and a whole lot of food. Traditionally, we can wear white now, (but only until Labor Day) so we buy pretty new clothes. We plan huge meals, invite family over, hide and find eggs and await a large, mythical rabbit to bring goodies overnight. I’m so confused about it all. We all know that Easter isn’t about baskets and baby chicks, but it’s hard to focus on the true meaning when all we see is STUFF.

That being said, I should explain that I’m a visual learner. I read things and try to comprehend, but actually seeing or doing something helps me to “get it”, especially in a biblical sense. I cannot fathom what a “cubit” is, but if you show me exact measurements then I’m totally there. For example:

1.     The book of Exodus tells us that Aaron raised a staff in the Pharoah’s presence, struck the water, and all the water in the Nile River turned to blood. I’ve been to the Nile River. It exists. It sounds pretty unbelievable, but somehow actually seeing the river and visualizing brings it to life for me. I get it. It is amazing and it is real.

2.      The book of Acts tells us of the Apostle Paul’s arrest and imprisonment in Rome. Scholars believe the prison in which he was held has a name: Mamertine Prison. I’ve been there. I’ve walked on the very

floor that he laid upon. It exists. It is real.

      

3.      The book of Isaiah tells us that Jesus washes our sins as white as snow. I have confessed

            to Him, I have felt His presence, I have felt His love, His forgiveness. He is real.

4.      The book of John tells us of the crucifiction of Christ. He willingly laid his life down for us. You and me.

5. And it also tells us that He rose three days later. The best visual I have of this is: me. I am here. Despite all my sins, I am here. I am here because he died for me. He is real. And He is amazing.

Today I’m in awe that 2012 years ago Jesus died for me. Today marks the anniversary of freedom for all people who come to Him and that’s pretty awesome. Does it still seem hard to believe sometimes? Yes. Yes, it does. Who does that? Jesus does. I’m reading the story of the crucifiction and the subsequent resurrection and it amazes me. I almost cannot comprehend it, but I have felt it and I know in my heart that He has Risen.  It’s a Good Friday, y’all, but SUNDAY IS COMING!

Day 2 - Monday

We kicked off day 2 with a breakfast involving Super- Human Honey. This honey’s label told the story of the earth’s first 2 “super humans”, one of which birthed a gazelle in her womb and all the earth’s creatures followed. I don’t even know. But the honey was good. At our table was a group of guys (and gals) from Visiting Orphans/Sixty Feet. It was cool because Marty and I went to Atlanta a few weeks prior and actually met some of the guys in that group. Even cooler, the wife of the leader of THAT group was with US on our September trip. She actually told us that this group was going at the same time AND they had extra room at the guest house so that’s how we all got to stay together.

After breakfast, our driver (and newest friend/family member) Harriet picked us up and took us to exchange ½ of our American currency. That is important to remember for when we get to Day 6. We exchanged our dollah dollah billz, y’all and became millionaires because every $1USD is worth like 2400 schillings - we walked away with 1.7 million of them. That's how ballers do, y'all. Afterwards we bought a Ugandan cell phone, hit up a coffee shop for a glass bottle Fanta (yes!), and were met by Harriet’s husband, Francis. THE COOLEST UGANDANS ON THE PLANET! Francis took us to meet our attorney and then dropped us off at an orphanage. It was a place we visited last year and over the past few months we kept in touch with them. We LOVE this place. The director and the staff are amazing. I could literally gush until I cried about all they do for the children there, but I won’t. We spent the afternoon loving on kids, helping do laundry, feeding, bathing, changing diapers (they are cloth. And disgusting.), and played peek-a-boo forEVER with the cutest little nugget on earth. He comes up a lot so I’m going to call him Nugget, henceforth. We could have stayed there all afternoon, but had a good walk back to our guest home and didn’t want to be walking in the dark. Although I am basically 140# of RAW FURY, it didn't seem safe. We spoke with the director before we left and she told us that a large group had just left that morning, so if we wanted to move into their guest home, we could. And be with those crazy kids for HOURS every day? HECK. YES.

After our eternity long, uphill-all-the-way, walk back in the blazing Africa sun, we ate dinner with “The Group” and hung out for awhile, thinking about all those kids. We called OUR own kids from our very low-tech Uganda phone (we bought the cheapest one we could) and told them all about our day. They were pretty excited that we were bringing them back presents. But I like to think they missed us too…..

Tomorrow is really cool though………

Recap: Day 1

I haven’t posted since our return from Uganda and I really cannot offer a good excuse. Lots happened while we were there, so I’ll take the next few days to re-cap our trip, but in a nutshell we: loved on lots of kids, lost our American currency, visited some beautiful places, marty hacked his head open with an axe while chopping wood at an orphanage, we saw the Nile River, we visited an emergency room, we had an awesome 11 hour layover in Amsterdam, our visa card got cancelled, we ate $19 hotdogs outside of Anne Frank’s home, we made several new friends and got to reconnect with old ones, oh, and we met a boy……

Day 1     We arrived super late at night after 2 super long flights, one of which I was seated by a cranky old lady who spent 8 hours hogging my armrest and turning off my air vent. Fortunately, I’m passive-aggressive in nature so instead of actually saying anything I’d regret, I kept my bitter thoughts to myself and Facebooked about her the first chance I got. I felt much better after that. This was upon arrival in Amsterdam where I enjoyed a delicious breakfast at McDonald’s. You can take me out of America, but you can’t take America out of me.

The last leg into Entebbe was pretty uneventful. When we arrived at the airport, we were met by our driver, Tom. Tom was pretty awesome and had the best laugh EVER. He took us to our guest home, Adonai 3, where we were greeted by Ms. Sarah and despite the fact that it was midnight, she greeted us with big hugs and the most beautiful smile EVER. We’d stayed here last September and she remembered us. Despite having no air conditioning (because it’s AFRICA and a/c is a LUXURY), we slept well………

I Want Some Chipati

This photo above? THIS is what a Ug*ndan Feast looks like and let me tell you, it was AMAZING! Mama Catherine not only has a heart of gold, but she is an awesome cook. This is the kind of food we’ll get to eat in a few weeks and I am so ready for it. In the meantime, I’m supplementing an actual post with our menu this week. Mainly because I already had to type it out and I didn’t want to duplicate another “writing” if I didn’t have to. Yes. I’m that lazy.


Friday: Hamburger Helper, carrots
Saturday: Poppyseed chicken casserole over rice, broccoli, mac n cheese
Sunday: Chili and cornbread
Monday: Chicken and dumplings, green beans
Tuesday: Tacos, refried beans, chips and salsa
Wednesday: Chicken pot pie
Thursday: Omelets, sausage, pancakes
Friday: Pizza, salad

So, yeah. There’s that.

A Hero's Not Afraid to Give His Life.....


On my drive in to work this morning, I listened to a song called “Hero”. The lyrics very plainly stated this:



“A hero’s not afraid to give his life,
A hero’s gonna save me just in time”


Immediately my thoughts went to those faces of the children in Ug*ndan Remand homes. Where is their hero? Who is going to save them? Is it America? Is it me? And then reality struck me. We are not heroes for being obedient. These children already KNOW their hero. Their hero saved them when He laid down His life on that cross. These kids are extraordinary. In their culture, they are unwanted. By our standards, they have nothing. In a caste system, they are truly the least of the least. They have no name brand clothes, no Nikes, and no PCP or iPods, but what they do have is faith that could move mountains. And that’s all they rely on. They get it. I am so, so wrong. I went to Ug*nda thinking I was going to help some kids, but in reality they encouraged me more than I ever thought possible.

Our trip is coming up shortly and it hit me this morning as I was “feeling sorry” for them. You guys, they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. They are YOUR brothers and sisters in Christ. Our circumstances may be different, but we are all the same. Our lives have no greater value than that of an “unwanted”. He loves them just as much as He loves us. Sure, we each have a different, personal story to tell, but in “the big picture” we each have our own roles to play. My role is not to be a hero. My role is to follow in obedience to adopt, to mentor, to mother. Our God is up to some big things in their lives, I just know it. Those kids who I sit around feeling “sorry” for? They may one day be called to rise up and lead their country. I can’t keep questioning God, “why?” It’s His plan and by His glory it’ll be done.


In the meantime, I’ll take comfort in knowing that while I may not understand a lot of things, I do know we share the same hero.

Matt 10:29-31...Not Even a Sparrow.....

"Not even a sparrow, worth only half a penny, can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to Him than a whole flock of sparrows." - Matthew 10:29-31



M1



Meals

"A"

"R"

"V"

"C"

 

"J"

"W"

"S"

They are on my heart today. 

Ain’t Too Proud To Beg, Y’all

Wow. Contrary to popular belief, I did not give up blogging for Lent. It just seems that way given my track record of sporadic postings as of late. But! As many of you know, MP and I have been preparing for our next UGA trip so that has taken up a lot of our time. Well, that and two kids, two full time jobs, two dogs, one potential income-producing side job, potty-training, weekends out of town, weekends with company in town, laundry, couponing, homework, school projects, and mandatory weekend naps. Also, we’ve been collecting playing cards for one of the remand centers In Kampala, baby formula for another and at the same time, we’re still trying to complete our dossier. If you have no idea what a “dossier” looks like, let me give you a visual. Take a brand new ream of paper of say 1,000 sheets or so, and imagine it is made up of your most personal and private documents. For example:


1. Home study report + Agency license + social worker License.
2. All state requirements regarding adoption.
3. Bank statement.
4. Marriage certificate / Birth certificates
5. Infertility letter (if any)
6. Employment letter per adopter.
7. Proof of residency and home ownership.
8. Financial information
9. Tax returns (3 years)
10. Medical clearance letter per adopter health
11. USCIS Approval – I-171h
12. Recommendation letters
13. Photos
14. Post placement obligation
15. Criminal clearances from abroad
16. Copy of Passports


Now. Make four or five copies of everything. Get EVERY.SINGLE.DOCUMENT.NOTARIZED. Seal each one in a nice plastic report cover. Recover from carpal tunnel syndrome. Do a victory dance. And don’t be afraid to Tebow.

We leave in two weeks and still have a lot to get done. When we get back, we are going to be some Fundraising FOOLS, y’all. We have been blessed tremendously by you guys and we cannot thank you enough. We’ve come a long way, but still have money to raise

When we get back, we’ll be designing T-shirts (for real this time), so get ready. We still have some Ug*ndan paper bead necklaces for sale ($15). Also, we’ll be making more crosses to sell ($20 includes shipping). They would make wonderful Easter gifts, so keep that in mind!!!!

You guys, HE is pretty amazing. It’s awesome to see how He paves the way in our obedience. I am ashamed at my initial doubts. I never doubted that He COULD, but honestly, I doubted that He WOULD. I once heard someone say, “God finances what He favors.” It’s no doubt that God loves the orphan. He also loves our obedience, so if you have EVER felt called to adopt, but hesitated because you didn’t think you could afford it, DON’T LET IT STOP YOU. If He has called you to it, He WILL make a way for it to happen. Trust.

Donations are great and if you want, you can click the Donate Paypal button, but above all we need prayer. Please join us in praying for our little nugget or nuggets (oh yeah, we’ve been approved for two). Pray that the Lord will be preparing them for us as He is preparing us for them. Pray for good health. Pray for healing hearts. Pray for comfort of their losses. Just pray.

Uganda. Four Weeks from Saturday. OMG.

We are preparing for our 2nd visit to one of most beautiful places on earth - Uganda - and I literally CAN. NOT. WAIT. This visit will be to well, visit, and volunteer and love on kids. We are staying at the same guest house we stayed at last September so I feel pretty good about that, but I am nervous y'all. Last time there was a group of us and a leader and we didn't do anything but show up when we were supposed to. We didn't handle  the itinerary, we didn't worry about money exchanges because someone ALWAYS had schiilings for us to exchange our good ole USD if need be. We didn't worry about eating or traveling or transportation - these were all provided worry-free. MP and I are going on our own this time. We DID find out that a group Visiting Orphans and Sixty Feet will be there at the same time and AT THE SAME GUEST HOUSE so there is comfort in that. Although we aren't "with" them, we are still totally with them.

That was the most rambling post I believe I've ever made. And I'm ok with that.

Once Upon a Time, I Had a Blog....

It has occurred to me that I had a blog one time. One that I actually got to, ya know, blog in. If I were one to make resolutions that would have definitely been it, but I don’t. So instead, I bask in my glory days when blogging was more of a hobby and less of a chore. Life has gotten a little out of control right now and something had to give. That “something” just happened to be “The Pickle.” Sorry.

Right now we are *thisclose* to being 100% paper ready to adopt our lil UGA nugget. That means my heart and my head are *thisclose* to ‘splodin with excitement/nervousness/love/joy/fear. Pretty much any emotion you can think of, I’ve got it. Multiplied by a million. We are now on an 8 week countdown til our next UGA trip. Gulp. It is a very real possibility that we may meet our next child and the thought of that renders me feeling overwhelmed, yet useless. It consumes me. I have a hard time concentrating on anything right now because of it. I want to be there. I want to KNOW who our child is. I want to bring them home. Like, NOW.

But we wait. And then we’ll wait for a referral. And then we’ll wait for a court date. And then we’ll wait for a travel date. And then we’ll wait for a ruling. And then we’ll wait for a visa. And then we’ll wait til we all come home. Together. Have you noticed a pattern yet? There’s a lot waiting involved. And I don’t wait well.

In the meantime, I find myself nesting already. It’s insane. No drawer or closet is safe at my house. My heart is being prepared for something so wonderful I can’t imagine. My house is being prepared to rival Niecy Nash in TLC’s “Clean House”. The cleanliness and organization of it all would make hoarders cry. Part of me does it because I know it’ll be NUTS with three littles running around. Part of me does it because I actually enjoy it. But most of me does it just to pass the time in between.

Humbled

I am humbled by how our God works. Never would I have thought that we’d ONLY  be $8,800.00 shy of our adoption fundraising goal. Never could I have imagined the friends He’d place in our lives at just the right time. Never would I have believed you if you’d told me that we could have purchased FOUR round trip flights to Africa, a 2 week mission trip, Immigration fees, a Homestudy, Travel immunizations, Adoption education fees, and no telling how much money spent on physicals, fingerprints, and certified certificates of every kind. Since June 2011. And paid for them IN FULL.


Um, that’s 6.5 months.


You guys. Our God is GOOD.


This adoption journey has done so much more for me than just the addition of a third child. It has renewed my faith in a way that I never realized it had waivered. I’ve never had any disbelief about our Lord and Savior – let’s clear that up. But I have questioned so many things:

1. Are we sure we’ve been “called” to adopt?
2. How are we going to do this?
3. If so, will He would provide? I knew he COULD, but would He? And how? And when?


Then I got slapped in the face. And He provided. Through friends and family and strangers from Canada. Through our blog and Twitter and Facebook. He provided. And He provided the exact amount of money needed and the exact time it was due. Best of all? He provided encouragement, strength, and everlasting friendships.


During this adoption journey, I’ve come to understand that through obedience, there should be NO fear. I should never question where He leads us or how we’ll get there. I should only say, “Yes Lord, I’ll go. Just tell me when” and leave the details up to Him.

 
Thank you all.

We Serve a God who has RAISED THE DEAD

It’s not too late to donate to Sixty Feet for the purchase of land!   www.sixtyfeet.org

Today I got an email from Shelly. According to her, Sixty Feet has raised $32,000 of the $60,000 needed in order to purchase land and to build a home for some sweet little nuggets in need. That means they need to raise only $28,000.00 by DECEMBER 31, 2011 in order to make every single cent eligible for a 100% match (up to $60k). Sounds impossible, right?

WRONG.

You guys, we serve a God who has RAISED THE DEAD. This ain't nothing for Him.

So, if you'd planned on getting me a Christmas present, don't. Instead, please consider making a small contribution to Sixty Feet. If you hadn't planned on getting me anything, well then, bah-humbug to you.

I kid. But seriously, consider it.

Please?

Terrible Blooger

I’ve been a terrible, terrible blogger lately. And I just typed “blooger” by accident. I s’pose I’m a terrible blooger too though. You know, sinuses and such.

There’s not too much going on right now with the adoption. It’s the waiting game. Which I hate. It takes patience and I’m hungry. Wow. That just happened. I was thinking “impatient”, but my fingers typed “hungry”. But I mean, I AM hungry, y’all so I’m going to let that one ride.

We are meeting Lisa, our social worker, Friday for our finalized homestudy. Next week I am mailing our I-600A application to the USCIS for “Advance Processing of Orphan Petition”. That’s basically assurance that the US gubment will grant citizenship to any child we adopt. And it’s $890.00. Nice, huh?

In the meantime, MP and I have been looking at airline costs and trying to determine the best time for us to go back to UG. Right now, it’s a cointoss between January and March. At that time, we’ll be supporting our Sixty Feet family there, as well as, visiting remand homes and orphanages AND our attorney. Hopefully since we’ll be “paper-ready” (more or less), we can expedite the process. I told you, I’m not very patient. And still very hungry. It’s not that we want to “rush” the process exactly: we don’t. But we ARE adopting a waiting child. We aren’t waiting for an infant to be born. Our child is THERE. RIGHT. NOW. living in conditions that are less than desirable. My wanting to “rush” things is more of a “sense of urgency” to get him/her into our family home. It’s the Mama Bear in me.

So there’s that. That’s our current update. I’m sorry there’s not much more to report, but I hope to book our tickets next week so maybe that’ll put a little pep in our step. And just then, I accidentally typed “poop in our step”. No one wants to step in poop. That would be gross.

Sidenote:

1-     It’s not too late to donate to Sixty Feet for the purchase of land!   www.sixtyfeet.org

2-     It’s not too late to order a cross from me and MP!! Order by 12/9/11 for Christmas!

3-     It’s not too late to sign up for a “Cuttin’ Corners” coupon class: Monday, 12/5/11 6:30 @ Corner Bakery. $10 CASH and ALL proceeds will benefit our Adoption! Taught by the fabulous, Emily Tate! Email me for details: usillypickle@comcast.net

The Kubler-Ross Model

I’ve not written much about my experience in Uganda, mainly because I don’t like the emotions it stirs within me. My trip evokes denial, anger, bargaining and depression. Basically it’s the Kubler-Ross Model, known as the Five Stages of Grief, yet I never make it to Acceptance. That’s because I refuse to. It’s like my eyes have been opened to a world that shouldn’t be. I will not accept this. I have seen firsthand the starving children that Sally Struthers talked about. I’ve met them. I’ve kissed them. I’ve held them. They have been beaten, abandoned, degraded and often by the very ones who we'd expect to love them the most. They are not just a face on a "Feed Africa" campaign. They have names like, Claire and Peter and Samuel and Abraham and Aklim and Vivian and William and Fred and some more Freds, and Aron and Tracy and Ronald and Robert and Jovia. They are in need of the very things you and I take for granted: familes, love, clothing, food, clean water, soap. These kids have stories to be told, but no one to listen to them. They carry burdens that they shouldn't even know about. They need to be allowed to just be children. They need mamas and daddies or someone to look after them. They need someone to cook their meals, mend their clothes, kiss a boo-boo, comfort a nightmare. They don't belong in the prisons I visited them in, they need to be in a loving home or a loving foster home.




So what if you could help them get that? Would you do it? If you knew that $5 USD would feed YOUR children for a week, would you sacrifice your Starbucks this morning for them? If you knew that $30 USD would send YOUR child to school for an entire month, would you decrease your cable package to cover it? How about doing it for a child that doesn’t have parents willing to sacrifice for them? I would.



Matthew 25:40 says, “The King will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.””



You guys, when I die, I don’t want to be known as the girl who talked about all the good things I could do. I want to be known as the girl that did great things. God has blessed us beyond measure and so often we fail to see it. More often, we fail to use our blessings where it matters most and here's a hint: expensive shoes and designer purses aren't it. He has commanded all of us to look after orphans and widows in James 1:27. Let’s all put some action in those words and help them. And no, that doesn't mean we ALL have to adopt one...


Sixty Feet has been given an opportunity to acquire land on Lake Victoria and to build a home for these very children. See below the exact words from my internet friend, Shelly’s, site or visit her directly at http://www.goodtobecrazy.com/:

“Dare to Dream

What if the youngest, most vulnerable, most desperate children at M1 and the other facilities didn’t have to be there? What if they could live in a place filled with hope, where they could grow to know and love God, where they would be deeply cared for, where they could receive an education and have a future? What if…

Since SixtyFeet first began, we’ve dreamed of purchasing land and building a home so we can remove the most vulnerable children who live in the M facilities. We can all agree, these children shouldn’t be in these conditions.

Late last year, we had a matching donation to raise funds so we could acquire land. The land was to be used as the site for a home where the youngest and most vulnerable children at M1 could live in a loving, nurturing family-like environment. Some of you may be wondering what happened to that.

Well, we were blown away by your generosity, as usual, and you sailed past the $10,000 match raising a total of $30,000. That money, unfortunately is still sitting in the bank – set aside and earmarked for the home we so very much want to build.

Various obstacles prevented us from moving forward with our original plans (we’re learning that sometimes we just need to be still and wait on the Lord). So that’s what we’ve been doing. But we never gave up hope. Ever since then, we have been praying that we would be able to raise the remaining funds to start this home.

Recently, several incredible donors have stepped forward to offer a whopping $60,000 as a matching gift in order to make this dream a reality. Yes, that was not a typo and you read it correctly. Every dollar we are able to raise between today and December 31, 2011 – up to $60,000 – will be matched, dollar for dollar.

So what does this mean for SixtyFeet and the children? With the $30,000 that was raised last year, we are hoping and praying that by January we will have $150,000 in order to purchase land, build a home and have a place where we can nurture these precious children. But we’re not just thinking land and a home. We’re thinking bigger… way bigger – as in community. We want to build something sustainable.

Given the size of this gift, we also pray we can use a portion of the funds to expedite our plans to remove and house many of the older children at the M facilities. We hope to establish multiple homes for boys and girls 10 and older where they can live with up to 20 other children and be mentored by young adults, who themselves have been in similar situations but who now have a heart to give back and serve.

So as we enter this holiday season, please dare to dream with us. Dare to dream of the eternal impact this will have in the Kingdom and in the lives of the children of M. Dream of the children who may arise from these homes. The leaders, the doctors, the pastors, the educators. All of whom may ultimately come from M and go on to serve and do amazing things in the name of Christ. Just imagine it.”

To donate to this amazing cause, to have your donation matched dollar for dollar, and to make a big difference this Christmas, click  http://sixtyfeet.org/how-you-can-help/

Please, please, please visit http://www.sixtyfeet.org/. It's my birthday today and I double dog dare you.....with a cherry on top.

Home Grown and Flown Home: Creating Our Family Through Adoption

Home Grown and Flown Home: Creating Our Family Through Adoption
**Recap of 5/4/11 post"

“In you, the orphan finds mercy” Hosea 14:3

“And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.” Matthew 18:5

Well. There are so many other people in the world that can do that. You know, people with no kids already. There are plenty of people with more money, bigger homes, etc? I mean, I want to help, but I’m sure it would be a lot easier for other people.

“Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.” Isaiah 1:17

Oh, I WILL! I will tell others about these afflicted children. Surely, I can raise awareness. I’ll talk about them and pray for them. I might even buy a cute tee shirt that says something catchy, like “I HEART Orphans!” You know, with “heart” SPELLED OUT! Ha! Cute.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18

Well, I suppose I could send a little money each month. I would go on a Mission trip, but I only have so much vacation time this year, so you know, there’s that. But maybe next year, when we haven’t already planned a vacation, then we’ll talk about going. Ooh, maybe Mexico? NO, THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC! Yes! THAT’S where we’ll “mission”.

“A Father to the fatherless, defender of widows is God in His Holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.”

Psalm 68:5-6

“Set the lonely IN FAMILIES”? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Slow your roll, Haus Cartwright. You mean BRING ONE HERE?! You want us to take in a “lonely?" Sure I saw the documentary about the Ugandan Children’s Prisons, but see -I already have two kids. And my husband and I both work full time. Mornings are crazy enough with the two kids we have. And kids ain’t cheap, yo. And, AND! Do you know how much church we would miss with THREE KIDS?! Yeah, I just don’t think we’re cut out for adoption. It’s just not “for us”.

“He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will.” Ephesians 1:5

Oh. Well….I never really thought about “Christians” as being adopted thru Jesus. But what would our friends and family say? What about strangers at WalMart? Think about this- a Ugandan child living in an all white family in MISSISSIPPI? What would people think?!

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for the orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” James 1:27

Honestly, I am scared. The process is time consuming and confusing. There is a huge language barrier. We would have to fly to Africa. That’s like, 8,000 miles away from my home, my kids, and my Keurig coffee maker. You are asking us to bring back a child that A- has never been to America and B-speaks no English. That’s a lot of change. And I don’t really like “change”, per se. Right now, we’re a typical “All American” four unit family. And it’s easy. Having another child is more expense, more time consuming, more kids fighting at one time. We already don’t get to sleep in our own beds most nights.

“For you did not receive a spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry, “Abba, Father””. Romans 8:15

Yeah, but….

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127:3

I’m afraid I may not love this child like my own. How can I? Sure they came from someone’s womb, but it wasn’t mine. Of course, Your Word doesn’t specify they would come from “my” womb either. But, I didn’t feel them kick and move. I didn’t get the “pregnancy glow” or the stretch marks now that I think about it...hmm? Regardless, I didn’t birth them. They won’t even look like me?! How will I know that this child is even mine?

“Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.” Isaiah 43:5

Yeah...well....I get that all believers are called to aide the orphans and widows, but not everyone is actually called to adopt. Some people just can’t for very valid reasons, such as health conditions, finances, etc. If not everyone is called to adopt, then why do I feel like we should?

“For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have.”

2 Corinthians 8:12

Yeah, but wha…..

“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7

What if I just don’t? What if I like having all this extra money and extra time? What if I prefer to keep the extra rooms in my large house as extras? What if I don’t want to share my family or our wealth or our resources? What if I consider vacations and deer camp as necessity rather than luxury? What if I’m not ready to give up more of ME for someone else?

“Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food and prosperous ease, but did not aide the poor and needy. They were haughty and did an abomination before me. So I removed them, when I saw it.”

Ezekiel 16:49-50

Blink.

Blink. Blink.

Gulp. Blink.

That pretty much settles it then.

Brief Weekend Recap

Here's another quick reminder about......

PLATE LUNCH for the Puckett family's adoption!!!

$5 hot dog plate / $8 burger plate 

This Sunday, Nov 6th. 

immediately after church from 11am-1pm

at Barnard Equipment on Old Fannin Rd (right next door to Pump it Up)

You guys, I am SUPER PUMPED about this. Like, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

OK, so here's a quick recap of our weekend:

1. Friday, we hit up the Braddy's Fish Fry in Madison (and it was DELICIOUS, BTW)

2. Saturday, I slept til 9. Then Brogan and I went to Kohl's to buy a new vaccuum cleaner. Why it couldn't have been a FUN purchase, like a new Canon 18-200mm Telephoto Zoom Lens, I DO NOT KNOW. Then a birthday party, THEN back to Kohl's because I had a 30% off coupon AND Brogan needed a dress for a wedding she is in next weekend. And THEN, swung by my mama's house as it was HER birthday too. After that, MP and I hit up a costume party (pics later), but MP was a Bee-Gee and I was a pink bunny, complete with FEETY PAJAMAS AND EARS.

3. Sunday, we had Helping Hands at 11, Mazzio's Pizza (as is tradition) for lunch, a TWO HOUR NAP, and then we decorated our Christmas Tree. Oh yes, we di'id. 

Tonight, we are taking Spiderman and Cinderella out for a Trick or Treat Hayride and HOPEFULLY an early bedtime. For them. Not Me. I still feel like I need to prep our house for our Social Worker Interview (which is this Saturday!) After the interview, we're headed to a wedding and on Sunday? I HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL AT OUR PLATE LUNCH FUNDRAISER :)

~cp

Updated, Corrected For REAL Finalized Plate Lunch Plans!

OK.

For once and for all, here are the Updated, Corrected For REAL Finalized Plate Lunch Plans!

Sunday, November 6
11am-1pm
Barnard Equipment (Old Fannin Rd, next door to Pump It Up)

Here's the change:
$5 hot dog plates
$8 hamburger plates

IT'S A STEAL!!!

Hope to see you all there!
~cp