Thursday, October 22, 2009

Christmas in October! WHEE!!!

I just want to go on record right now and confess that, yes- the rumors are true…….

I totally put my Christmas tree up this past Sunday AND DECORATED IT TOO!!!

I don’t bother with Halloween decorations because, well as much as I do love a good Trick-or-Treat (that was totally not supposed to sound dirty, by the way), I just don’t really get into that particular holiday. One reason is that candy corn is disgusting. And another reason is that costumes ain’t cheap, yo. It pains me to spend cash money on a costume that I would probably never wear again. It is not conducive to my Dave Ramsey budget and to be honest with you - I’m cheap that way.

Christmas; however, ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF! We own more Christmas decorations than you could shake a stick at. (*edited to add: who came up with that saying anyway? Why shake sticks? Why not something cool, like turkey laigs? or feet?) Each year, my collection of Santa Claus’ grows by leaps and bounds, which is cool except that each year it takes longer and longer to put them all out, which is NOT cool because THEN it takes even longer to UN-decorate and seriously challenges my commitment of even decorating to begin with. I shall prevail though. I shall PREVAIL! This year we are doing things a little differently because Swaid (aka Buddy Love, Sir, Big Sir, Happy Jack, Smiley Joe Peterson, Thigh Roll, Big Love, Bug, Tater, Swaider-Tater, Becks, and most recently, Goat) is in fact, very much goat-like in his behavior in that he quite literally eats everything and anything not nailed down. One day I'm gonna find out that he has PICA - that disease that makes people eat dirt and coins and rubber bands and I will not be surprised. That being said, we’ve had to be a little more careful in staging our very own Winter Wonderland. We did put up the tree, which is basically the best part about Christmas with the exception of it being Jesus’ birthday and all, but we only hung the ornaments that allegedly “don’t break”. We’ll see about that. They have not met my son. We are also putting out the Santas, but will place them high atop the kitchen cabinets to ensure their safety. I’ve put a few other things here and there, but overall it’s a festive, scaled down version of last year. That's about all we'll do too, I think. I would LOVE to go Griswald outside and blind everyone with a quadrillion lights and giant inflatable snow globs and reindeer on the roof, and maybe a giant mechanical Santa that's all "Ho! Ho! Ho!" as he dips head first into a fake chimney top leaving only his behind in the air and his little feet kicking, etc, but we don’t own any of that stuff and even if we did, no one would be able to see so it’d be a moot point..... UNLESS, we buy land elsewhere and build ANOTHER house, but this time closer to the road and not have a driveway that’s 42 football fields long so EVERYONE could see our LIGHTS! But that’s a tall order and sure seems like a lot to ask of my husband, so we’ll make do.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Open Book, Closed Case

Recently I’ve begun receiving a popular “teen” magazine through the mail. No, I did not subscribe to it – I believe it is a “courtesy”, if you will, from the kind marketing folks of said magazine. To be perfectly honest, I usually do not read it. Most of the time, I don’t even birth it from its womb of sheer recycled plastic. I just throw it away. I hate being wasteful and before you criticize, I should point out to you that I am a married, thirty year old working mother of two toddlers. I cannot wear neon leggings with a tuxedo vest and still maintain my dignity. I just can’t do it. However, there was something about this most recent issue that caught my eye and I submitted myself willfully to those pages. The cover caption “3 Super-Models Spill Their Secrets” intrigued me so I dove in wholeheartedly. I mean, if there are Super-Model Secrets to be shared, I NEED TO LISTEN! After perusing through pages upon pages of advertising and twee little outfits, and oh! That one model classically posed with cupcakes? She had a virtual pastry in her hair. I was almost ready to give up, but well, “Whimsical” is the most appropriate word I can think of to adequately describe what I saw and I’m not going to lie to you - I like whimsical.

Scurrying through the pages like a mouse on its quest for the finest cheese, I couldn’t help but notice how the magazine practically yelled at me to “GO NEON!” It offered me nuggets of information such as “How to Rock Your Military Jacket” and sadly informed me that the 80’s are making a comeback. Really? Of all the decades to choose from, we picked the 80’s? Feeling a little depressed now because I vividly remember jelly shoes and how they blistered my delicate third grader feet, I trudge through because after all - there are Super-Model Secrets to be revealed!

The next thing I noticed was how tiny all these girls were. I was struck by their protruding cheekbones and non-existent backsides. “What is this promoting?” I asked myself. Before I could even start to answer, I’d reached an article on how the Internet is the reason for teens developing eating disorders. All I could say was O.M.G. I found it a little ironic that I’d just flipped through 165 pages of scarily thin girls only to be informed that the “Internet” was to blame. Hmm? So, I stopped and read it. See, several years ago, personal demons of my own led me to develop an eating disorder so I could relate to some of this article. However, my reasons didn’t involve what the television and internet promoted- I did it because I was trying to fill a void in my life.

After years of struggling, my void was filled when I was saved by grace. I was twenty one years old and for the first time ever, I truly felt beautiful. I was God's Super-Model. He literally whispered the words to me and even better – I believed Him. I knew He loved me for who I was. I was finally able to see myself through His eyes. This body that I loathed and complained of, He gave to me and allowed it to bring forth two precious babies. During my “woe-is-me” years I couldn’t understand why He was allowing difficulty to prevail. I soon realized that He had not only allowed me to walk through fire, but He graciously prevented me from being burned, as promised in Isaiah 43:2 (NIV).

Genesis 1:27 (NIV) says, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

What do those words speak to you? Do you understand that God created us in His likeness? That we should be compared to the Lord, in any way, shape, or form, is astounding. If we are created in His image, how can we think we are anything but beautiful? Yet apparently we do. Every day the world projects unhealthy images onto us. Celebrities boast about being size 0 and the healthy ones wearing average sizes are labeled “fat.” Among us are people that torture themselves because they do not meet the world’s standard of beauty. But, you guys? When you know the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior, you shouldn’t adhere to the world’s standard of beauty. Our culture is so focused on our exterior that they fail to address inner beauty. Proverbs 31:30 (NIV) says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised“. Isn’t that better than what we’re used to hearing?

The Secrets of the Super Model were never revealed to me. In part, because I couldn’t find the article and partly because I decided that I didn’t really care to find it. What difference would it make? If God our Father loves us with all of our imperfections, then who are we to question it? Do the opinions of teen magazine editors carry more weight than that of our Creator? No. No, they do not. To Him, we are all beautiful. He gave us a purpose and in order for us to effectively fulfill that, we cannot allow society to undermine His intentions. We can; however, spend a little more time with our Bibles opened and our teen magazines closed.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Workin' for the Weekend

Hi. My name is Christy. In case you've forgotten.....

I would be updating a whole lot more if it weren’t for this thing called a JAY-OHHH-BEE. That spells JOB, for those of you that are a leetle slow. It’s ok, this weather has us all a little flummoxed. And hot. And wet. And cold. And sticky. Then hot again. I’m gonna lay it out for you- I hate this weather. There. I said it. And while I’m confessing, I should also let you all know that I hate football too. Whew. It was like a weight has been lifted. In truth, I might possibly enjoy football if I knew the rules. But I don’t and the fact that I don’t like it enough at this point to even learn about it pretty much ends it for me. I do watch the Super Bowl though, even if it IS strictly for commercials and potential boobie flashes.

Besides, UFC is my sport of choice.

Hey- Have you ever heard of the Phatwater Challenge? Anyone? No? Well. My husband, MP, will be in it tomorrow. He will be competing against 100+ people in a kayak race down the Mighty Mississippi for 42.5 miles. You read that right. I’m borrowing my sister-in-law’s SWEET camera to take some cool pics and I’ll be positing them prolly next week or so. MP’s initial goal was to finish in under 5 hours; however, after months and months of training he has now set his sights on somewhere around the 4:30 mark. I’ll keep you posted!


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Dear Subway,

Dear Subway,
Listen. We go back a long time, right? Of course we do. Anyone that knows me can testify to the fact that I love you, Subway. I daresay I'm downright crazy about you. I was supportive of you long before Quizno's was a thought. But here's the really need to update the 411 on what "a little lite mayo" and "a sprinkling of sweet onion teriyaki sauce" means to your employees. I respect that they are called, "Sandwich Artists", but really? They have nothing to prove to me. These condiments are meant to compliment the sandwich, not to tell the sandwich to "Van Gogh to heck!" and drown out the veggies. So if you could just work on that, I'd be ever so appreciative.