Awe- you guys like me?!

6/30/09
Oh wow, you guys. First of all, I want to thank you all for checking out this blog. I mean, I know it’s hard to escape my shameless plugs being pimped on Facebook, but whatever. There are approximately eleventy-jillion (give or take a few quillion) blogs on the World Wide Web (which will totally be referred to as “The Tri-Dub” from this point on), but you read mine and it means a lot to me! Not enough to make me cry or anything, but it does make me happy enough to keep posting. So, yay for you. I'll go eat a cookie now. As of right this very minute, I have had 316 hits on the blog. In 5 days. That’s like 63.2 people a DAY! To some of you that may not sound like a whole lot, but to me that is 63.2 people that could have been doing something else. I’m not exactly sure how’d I’d calculate the .2, but I digress.

Second of all. Has anyone else been getting “Teen Vogue?” I mean, not intentionally? It has shown up in my mailbox for the past few months and I just realized I never signed up for it. My first thought was maybe that I did and just forgot; however, after *reading* (I use the term loosely, because, really? The Big Bang: Fall’s Hottest Haircut is HARDLY Pulitzer worthy), I can say for certain that I would never have condoned this journalistic travesty into my home- not even to stoke the fire. For several reasons, but mainly because I am a grown woman, with two young children and a set of perfectly, good working eyeballs. I can SEE that you, Teen Vogue, are trying to Swan me from “schlubby conservative working mother” into “Cougar who wears neon leggings with a neck tie”, but I shall not fall into your trap of evil lies. Listen up, I’ll say it loud and I’ll say it proud:

NO.ONE.LOOKS.GOOD.IN.AN.ENSEMBLE.CONSISTING.OF.
NEON.STRETCHY.PANTS/A.METALLIC.SEQUINED.BOLERO.JACKET
/WITH.A.FLORAL.”BLANCHE.DEVEREAUX”.TOP/CINCHED.WITH.
A.FRONT.CLASPED.BELT/AND.TOPPED.WITH.A.FEDORA.AND.
MEMAW’S.SUNDAY.BROOCH. DO YOU HEAR ME? NO ONE.

Finally, I’ll bid you all adieux and end this with a few more facts:

36- I have actually hit 2 pedestrians.
37- It was accidental.


38- No one was injured. :-)

39- Daffodils are my favorite flowers. Sure they’re weeds, that just means they are $free

40- I am a coupon junkie. I use them every day, everywhere, and rarely buy anything without one.

41- I have the best frands ever.
42- My 2 closest friendships both started out as being my mortal enemies. Lacey- in 5th grade, we couldn’t stand each other, but in 6th grade we didn’t like anyone else in the class so we decided to unite. True story. And Natalie, well she hated me from the get go, but only because she is a punk and I am not. Smiley face.

43- I do not drink alcohol. Three reasons: 1- it became excessive 2- It’s out of respect for my husband who also does not drink and 3- Romans 14:13 “Let us therefore no longer pass judgement on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling-block or hindrance in the way of another.*” I would never want to be someone’s stumbling block.

44- If I could make money by writing, I would totally do it.

45- I really do enjoy my job. Don’t take it personal if I don’t elaborate and give specifics like where I work. I’ll NEVER tell you that because well, I’ve already dealt with one stalker and I’m just not jonesing for another.
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Facebook Status Updates:
Christy Hill Puckett is
Wants to know who signed me up for a subscription to "Teen Vogue?" I mean, Emma Watson IS super cute, but I am a 30 year old, mother of 2. I cannot wear neon leggings with a neck tie AND maintain my dignity.

Nice Weekend

6/29/09

I hope you all had a great weekend! Ours was pretty uneventful. We (and by “we”, I mean Bebe, Big Sir, and myself) mostly stayed indoors due to the weather. Fortunately, the heat didn’t bother me because I am so cool. Yea, I went there. But the heat, the rain, and the bugs? Yuck. It was just a gross weekend and I did not enjoy that part at all. Speaking of things I didn’t enjoy, I did have the displeasure of developing a most painful Apthous Ulcer though. It’s in your mouth- Google it. Let me just say that if you’ve never experienced such a thing, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. Oh my dear sweet pickles. It is so painful. So much so, that I went to the dentist first thing this AM because I was certain that A) I had an abcessed tooth B) I had a bone infection or C) a disease-carrying brown recluse climbed into my mouth while I slept and bit me in the gum causing advanced stages of periodontal necrosis leading to painful decay of my gums, rendering them helpless and unable to support the teeth that adhere to them, which would soon cause them to all fall out, leaving me with no choice but to get new pearly white veneers and I got all excited about it because I really want them, but in hindsight, looking back at all my bad luck I would probably not even get the nice veneers, but rather the Hillary Duff teeth and well, we all know how that turned out. My money was on C, but Dr. Dentist was not convinced, after all, he has not seen “Arachnophobia” so I am sure he is unaware of what these crafty little bugs are capable of. After some assurance that I would maintain my ability to eat corn on the cob, I relaxed a little and because I was a work-in, I had plenty of time to sit and think of some more facts that I thought I’d share.

26- I LOVE going to the dentist. Not the drive, but the actual visit. The gas, the compressed air, the novacaine, the drilling, the water spout and THE SUCTION- the whole 9 yards. Sounds crazy, but I do. I love getting my teeth cleaned and am not fazed at all by major dental work- I LIKE it.

27- I have “texture” issues with food. Well, grilled chicken to be more specific and I cannot eat it most of the time. It’s a coin toss as to whether I will throw up or not.

28- What this world needs is Jesus, Jesus…. Pinelakers, can I get a witness?!

29- I was a victim of physical, emotional and mental abuse during a 6 year relationship. That guy may be reading this blog now and to him I say “I forgive you and I also forget you- so never ever consider contacting me again- I don’t want to be your real life friend or your facebook friend or your myspace friend. Give.it.up.chief.” To the rest of you I say, if you’ve ever questioned why people just don’t leave, I can tell you now that it is not that easy.

30- I am an excellent marksman and can probably shoot a pistol/rifle/gat (when it's gang-related) better than you, but that fact has no direct relation to #29. No seriously, I didn’t even plan that.

31- If we even speak about the topic of yawing, I will yawn. If I see an animal yawn, I will yawn. You can just pretend to yawn and I will yawn. I kid you not, I am yawning right now just typing about yawning. I can’t help it. I’m a yawner.

32- MP and I have been lost in the mountains of Colorado while elk hunting and were actually found by Search and Rescue. That trip alone is worthy of its own blog entry and will debut soon- I promise.

33- I am a history nerd. Do you hear me? NERD. I am obsessed with all things history. In fact, the MS Agriculture Museum is one of my most favorite places in MS and the Military Park in Vicksburg is the other.

34- I am a firm believer that you should always, ALWAYS check the stalls before saying anything about anyone. Just sayin’

35- I do not believe in horoscopes and can not, for the life of me, understand why people do. First of all, let’s take my horoscope for today as an example. It says:

SCORPIO
(October 23 - November 21)You could meet someone new and adorable. Lucky numbers: 3, 11, 23, 25, 28, 36

Now, do you REALLY believe that on June 29, 2009, every Scorpio on the planet is going to win the lottery by playing 3, 11, 23, 25, 28, & 36? Really? Think about it. That doesn’t even make sense. Oh, but that part about meeting someone “new and adorable?” It’s totally true. Hi. My friends call me CP. You can call me Ms. Jackson, if you’re nasty.

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Facebook Status Updates:
Christy Hill Puckett is hey you...in the gray Maxima, yea, contrary to popular belief, blinkers are for everyone. They do not discriminate. You should try it sometime, really. Also, it is a round about, not a crop circle. It does not require studying. It's your basic elementary shape that even my 3 yo has mastered. And she doesn't drive.

Freebie

So I really handn't planned on posting on the weekends, but you got lucky. Not really, it's just that MP got me a really cool Netbook and I wanted to use it. You know, break it in proper-like. Here are a few real life conversations occurring in the Puckett household:

Me: Brogan, don't play in mommy's make-up, ok? I don't want you to break it.
BB: Fine, I'll just go get some of daddy's....

BB: Mommy, my belly hurts
Me: let's go potty, you probably need to poop
BB: um, poop comes from my booty?!

BB: mommy, what's wrong?
ME: baby, my mouth hurts
BB: ooh.....did you bite it with a rock?
Me: yea......I totally bite it with a rock
BB: you got to be careful

MP: so I was thinking, since we've been married, my expendable income has decreased. How is that even possible? We've got 2 incomes...
Me: yea, I don't know. But I can tell you mine has increased tremendously....

Me: ok, seriously Marty. Why is it that you bought ME a netbook, but I can't use it because YOU are playing on it?
MP: because it sucks to be you.....

That's all I got today, folks. Tomorrow I'll recap our weekend and throw in a few more fun facts about yours truly. HOLLA!

Product Placement Friday

6/26/09

Product Placement Friday

So I thought on Fridays I would pimp a product or products (plural) of my choosing. Basically it’s free advertising for the companies that don’t pay me. They really should though, but I digress. Consider it a favor. I had planned to post pictures of said Pimped Products, but I’m a boob and failed to charge my camera. No pics today is what I’m saying. Sorry.

1- Biore Face products: I highly recommend either Biore 4 in 1 foam wash OR the Nourishing Gel Cleanser. I use both. The foam wash is in my shower and I keep the gel wash sink side. I follow both with the Triple Action Astringent and moisturize with Nourish Moisture Lotion SPF 15. I use it EVERY.DAY.YO. You guys, this stuff ROCKS. So much so, that I have considered swimming naked in it just to see what its amazingness does to the rest of me. Yes, really.

2- Givenchy Hot Couture perfume: This stuff is so awesome that words actually fail me. I literally couldn’t think of anything good enough to describe this fragrance so I five finger discounted it off Sephora’s website. I’m just that way. Listen to their description of said product: “Like Haute Couture fashion, Hot Couture is a glamorous yet sophisticated fragrance. Through sensuality and warmth Hot Couture creates an elegance that can only be equated with couture runway fashion. Sweet raspberry nectar, magnolia, and ambered vetiver combine to bewitch us with vibrant, confident, and passionate femininity.”-Sephora.com

I mean, COME ON. Who DOESN’T want to smell like “couture runway fashion”? Really, how could you not try it?

Have I sold you on either product yet? Drop me a line and let me know
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When I originally started this, I’d planned on listing 10 things about myself for 10 days and then we’d take it from there. But THEN I thought I’d pimp out products on Fridays, just to shake things up a bit because I do like a good walk on the wild side. And NOW I think I am just a pure webtastic genius, confined to a Victoria’s Angel body. What?! It is cyber space- I can look like what ever I want. Don’t judge me. I’ll try to post pictures when I can, but really, I just don’t take that many. Anyway, I’m only gonna list 5 things about me today. I don’t want to reveal too much too fast. I am not a blog whore.

21- I love the fact that MP wears the pants in our family, but he also allows me to don capri’s when necessary

22- I love to read. Yea, I do. Sorry, there’s nothing funny here.

23- I think Jackie Chan is amazing and I could watch his movies on repeat until I died.

24- I’m convinced my daughter has a yet-to-be-diagnosed case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. She has to. There is no other way to explain a child being that particular about everything. I promise you that whatever you think is bad, she is a million times worse. IE: Milk has to be placed opposite her breakfast plate at breakfast, but must NEVER be offered directly to her. You can only go around one side of the island in the kitchen when en route to her bedroom. If you go around the “wrong” side, she will scream and cry and flail and puke green peas until you go back around the “correct” way. She can only wear dresses that “work”. If she spins and the dress doesn’t flare, it doesn’t “work” and she can’t wear it, etc. Welcome to my world.

25- I call my husband “Puckett”. I think that “Puckett” is the coolest last name in the world rivaled only by “Beckham”, well, for obvious reasons. My son’s name is Beckham Swaid Puckett. He’s practically got “superstar” stamped on his forehead.
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Facebook Status Updates:
Christy Hill Puckett
BB: What's that, mommy?
ME: turquoise
BB: turkeeyz?
ME: yes, do you like it?
BB: (at this point, she literally shrugged and with a voice full of indifference says...) oh, well I have diamonds inside...

Second Date

6/25/09
Since this is day 2 of my “new” blog, I thought I’d treat it like a second date. You know, barely comfortable, yet totally awkward at the same time? I’ll tell you a few more interesting facts about myself and let you bask in all things Christy for a while. I’ll order a salad with dressing on the side, when I really want steak. I’ll drink water when I prefer Diet Coke, and I’ll pass up dessert even thought I so totally want it. After all, I want you to like me. We’ll talk of the weather and I will laugh at your jokes even if I don’t entirely get them. I’m not quite ready to really open up and be myself, but not so uncomfortable that I can’t speak at all. Basically, what I am saying is that our relationship? It’ll be superficial at best, but we’ll get there. In the meantime, I’ll leave you wanting more.

11. The number “11” is totally my number. Yea, that’s right. It’s mine. I don’t say it’s lucky because it’s not. Duh, it’s just a number. But it’s just that I only seem to look at clocks when they read 11:11. AM or PM, makes no difference. It’s cool and if I HAD a lucky number, 11 would be it.

12. I am not crazy about the water. Never have been and probably never will be, much to the dismay of my husband who, I would swear, has gills.

13. I have an unhealthy obsession with Steven Tyler. It’s true. Ask my husband. I don’t care if Dude, DOES look like a lady… ROWR!

14. I hate oranges. The fruit, not the color.

15. I love pink. The color, not the artist.

16. I do not like to talk on the phone, yet I do it ALL.DAY.LONG. This may be why I hate it so much. I guess if you paid me to do it at home, it’d be cool. However, if you DID pay me to talk on the phone in the privacy of my home, it would totally sound like I ran a 1-900 number hotline. So, I probably shouldn’t suggest that again. Ever.

17. I have had a real life stalker before.

18. I don’t get the “little-dog-culture”. Why would you even want to put a dog in your purse?

19. I hate whistling. It’s a noise that should only be used when A) in the prevention of eminent danger or B) Jack Bauer needs to shake down a terrorist in order to find the bomb and his only leverage? Is the WHISTLING. I know I would sell out my momma to make it stop.

20. I need comments to feel good about myself. I kid, but seriously help a sista out. COMMENT!

That's all you'll get out of me this go round. I'll let you pick up the tab and next time you may even get to second base. And on that note, Imma bounce. PEACE!

A Formal Introduction

Ok, so technically this isn’t a “new” blog, per se, BUT I will be writing in it now so that’s cool, right?

Since I posted this address on Facebook in the hopes of getting people to check me out, I thought I’d give a little history about myself to those of you that don’t know me very well.

I am a happily married, full-time working mother of 2 and I love to write. Most of the time, I am just flat-out goofy. I am that person that hides behind humor. I am very guarded and while I can be serious, it’s very rare that I am because I don’t like to open myself up to people. I’m working on that though. I love the Lord and am thankful for the situations he walked me though. I like the person I have become. Some of you know my testimony and you get me. Some of you don’t and probably won’t, but don’t take it personal, I still like you! I am just quiet that way. Anyway- here are some fun facts:

1- U Silly Pickle- this is a nickname for my children. Yes, they are silly, no they are not pickles.

2- I will never use the following words: “hubby”, “hubs”, “yummy”, or “preggars” and will limit my use of “prego” only to refer to spaghetti sauce. Please do not ask me why I hate these words. I just do.

3- I will; however, use words that don’t make any sense. Vomitacious, Starvacious, Impressable. You know, pretty much add an awkward sounding suffix to most any word and I’ll probably use it. Definitions are optional.

4- I do not understand the phenomenon that is “American Idol.”

5- I am obsessed with all things Facebook, but will never ask you to join my mafia.

6- UFC is the most awesome sport ever. That is a statement, not a debate.

7- I’ve never struck a match. What?! I am not a Flintstone.

8- I did not know you could put outgoing mail in your home mailbox and that by lifting the flag, this signaled the mailman to pick it up and take to the post office for you until I was 22.years.old.

9- I am very serious about #8. That’s how I roll.

10- Most importantly, I love the Lord. I love my husband. I love my children. I love my friends. In that order.

Do you feel like you know me now? Because you totally should. In the future, you should know that I will talk a LOT about my children because I am a mom and will probably mention weight loss because, well, I am a woman and that is what we do. I will say stuff that will catch you off guard like say, BOOB.SWEAT. Are you uncomfortable now? What about you? That guy in the back? OK, we’re all good then. You should also know that I type EXACTLY how I speak, so when you read this, you should do so with a Valley-girl meets Southern Belle accident. Now throw out some “yo’s” and “homey’s”. Because I am part gangsta too. Consider my essence captured.

Brief Synopsis of The Puckett Family Chaos

Wow. So much has happened lately. We have all been battling one illness after another since October 1st and I am not even kidding about the date. Seriously, it’s been tough. Both kids had RSV for about 10 days – at different times of course. Once they recovered, they both got bronchitis the VERY.NEXT.WEEK. Thank goodness for my MIL. She practically lived with us for 3 weeks! Once both Brogan and Swaid were well enough to go back to school, guess what? I’ll take “Pneumonia” for $500, Alex. Yea. So I had apparently contracted something from one of my carrier monkeys that developed into pneumonia. I’m still waiting on the chest xray bill. It was great.

Also, it just came to my attention that I have not even written a blog about Beck aka “Big Swaid” in a really long time. He’s 3 months old now and is quite large. +95% in both length and weight. He outgrew newborn in 1 week and outgrew 0-3 month clothes 2 months ago. He is now sporting 3-6 month clothing and a whopping size 3 diaper. He hasn’t been weighed in about a month, but he was over 14 lbs then. If the scale doesn’t say he’s AT LEAST 16 lbs by now, then that scale would be wrong because he is big, yo! He is so stinkin’ sweet. He’s also a good eater (6-8 oz 5 or 6 times a day), GREAT sleeper (7pm – 7am, plus naps during the day) and can burp louder than most adult men (breaks the sound barrier). I’m so proud.

Oh, and I turned 30 a few weeks ago and feel surprisingly unaffected by it. I’d heard horror stories like how your metabolism quits working and your boobies run away and hide behind your knees, but tis not true, my friends. Not true at all! I feel great!

Thanksgiving was wonderful! I hope you all had a great time. We ate an embarrassing amount of food, but we gave thanks for it so it makes our gluttony totally ok. :)

I’ll post pics when I can figure out how to get them converted to jpg format after emailing them to myself from my phone. Suggestions?

A few of Brogan's favorite things

Favorite thing numero uno: blanket. Numero dos: chocolate "choppy" milk. She cannot function without them.

My first pigtails! Seriously, could you just eat her up?! She sported this lovely ensemble (courtesy of Aunt Na and Uncle Matt) to a Braves game a few months ago. MP's office had "family night" at the game and Bee had a blast! I should also point out that she only wears dresses PERIOD! She will not even entertain the idea of wearing pants aka "devil sleeves" on her delicate legs. It's dresses or nothing. But not just any dress...it has to flair out when she twirls. I'm not even kidding. Every morning we have the same routine. We put on a dress and she spins around, saying "ta da!". If the dress doesn't flair, she proclaims, "It's not WORKING!" and promptly removes said dress. We then put on another dress, lather, rinse, repeat. Yes, I am very serious. Oh and as far as shoes go, just save yourself the trouble and let her pick out a pair. So what if she wants to wear a sundress and CROC rainboots (see Museum pics)?! - Just go with it. It's not worth it.

Yea, I wear my sunglasses at night! Who doesn't?! She loves her some sunglasses. She doesn't even care who they actually belong to. She asks to sleep in them sometimes.

Bee LOVES her stuffed animals....all of them. She doesn't have a favorite- she's an equal opportunity stuffed animal lover! She decided all her "babies" needed to watch Mickey Mouse (another favorite) with her. We don't question her....

Another favorite thing? Swaid's feet. She always ALWAYS wants to see them and touch them. Every day she asks to see his "peet". Once she sees them and touches them, she's good. I don't know why - she just does. It's precious though!

Museum of Natural Science

So, we took Brogan and Swaid to the science museum last weekend. Bee had the best time ever and loved everything about it, except for the dinosaurs. She was convinced they were going to "bite her". Swaid didn't really care about anything... :) Can you tell Bee dressed herself?

So, I've been asked a million times how Bee is adjusting to having Swaid around. Answer: She LOVES him....now. The day she met him she stepped in and swung at him. Serious gangsta style, closed fist punch. Fortunately, my MIL was holding him and managed to move him just in time. Bee ended up hitting my MIL instead. After that, she grabbed the cart he was wheeled in on and proceeded to ram it against the side of my hospital bed. At one point, she got it wedged between the chair my MIL was sitting in and the bed I was in, so then she just decided to kick it and punch it about a million times. All we could do was just watch and let her get it out of her system. After that, she was better. She ignored him for the rest of the night and she would ignore you if you were holding him. The next day we gave her jelly beans and said they were a gift from Swaid. She's loved him ever since! :)

Beckham Swaid Puckett

Beckham Swaid Puckett
Born 8/20/08
7 lbs 12 oz
20 1/4 inches
12: 45 pm

Proud daddy!