Things that Crossed My Mind Yesterday

Things that Crossed My Mind Yesterday:

1. Giblets have no place in gravy. Ever.

2. I don't even know what gizzards are.

3. How many different type of pickle can there be?

4. If Thanksgiving dinners were "Biggest Loser" challenges, I'd totally have immunity. Even Tracy would hate me.

5. Burping after a meal so delicious is affirmation that the meal was, indeed, delicious. It's like yelling "Amen" to a southern gospel preacher after a "hellfire and brimstone" sermon.

6. You're getting up at what time in the morning? To do what?! It's gonna be 29 degrees with a FREEZE ADVISORY, YOU MAD WOMAN. No. Don't call me. I'll be in bed. Oh, I'll get up at 2:00 AM alright, but it will be to pee. Maybe if my house was on fire, I'd get up for that too. No deal is worth all that. Ever.

7. Four different kinds of pie should be criminal.

8. I better volunteer to change this diaper, because I am most certain that I do not want the one generated by the boy AFTER he eats all this food....

9. Maybe MP won't catch on to my plot to leave him with the stinky....

10. I love this family so much my heart hurts. I love my husband with a love that Edward and Bella could only dream of. Yeah. I went there. And these kids? I am without words.

So thankful

Brogan is thankful for her "pray house"

MP and I are truly thankful for this family.

Aside from faith, family and friends, I am thankful to be waking up in the house we moved into 6 years ago today. It's a home filled with love & laughter & one that keeps us warm in winter, cool in summer & dry in the rain. It holds all our clothing & toys, allows us to prepare meals, & has hosted parties a plenty. We may not be featured on "Cribs", but to me? It is better than any mansion on any hillside anywhere. It's really more than I deserve.

*For some unknown reason, Ionly have pics of the back of our house? I don't know why- regardless, I am thankful for it...and my camera too!**

No time to post, but look how cute my kids are.

I know- could just just DIE at all the cuteness?!
I go bananas for these babies.

Seriously? No, SERIOUSLY?! He's got "Heart Breaker" stamped on his forehead.

Doing Something Phenomenal

I kinda want to do something phenomenal today like write a book or deliver a baby in a taxi cab, but I'll settle for scrubbing all the toilets in my house. That's life-changing enough, right? No? I didn't think so either.

I feel like I've got a million things I NEED to do and like three things I really WANT to do. The grown up in me is all, "Chores before playtime! Set a good example for your children! Grocery shop! And for Pete's sake do some laundry, Woman, so your husband isn't left wearing the holey socks this week!" On the other hand, the kid inside of me is screaming, "Hush that nonsense, Crazy British Lady (I don't know why, but the adult in me is ALWAYS British)- let the kids fend for themselves. I wanna read a REAL book that doesn't involve Elmo or primary colors. And go run 3 miles while listening to anything but Barney songs. And go shopping, but not for groceries. And I'd really like to take a bath ALL BY MYSELF". And nowhere in my kid brain does it mention cooking, cleaning, bathing someone else, reading to someone else or laundry. NOWHERE. What to do? What to do?

Then we've got the third list of "Things I Both Need And Want To Do". Posting this blog was one of the two things that fell on this list. My dedication to you all led me to post this before doing anything else so consider that a big group hug. Your welcome. Plus, MP practically cattle prodded me to update with his friendly reminders of "People are going to quit following you if you never update." Wise words, indeed, but updating takes time, yo. Time that I have to sacrifice elsewhere. Methinks that "elsewhere" will be laundry today. I feel better already. I think we all know how much I hate "the laundry".

The only other thing that fell on both lists is running. Sigh. Running.... how I curse thy name upon thine lips and hate thee with a passion that burns brighter than that of ten thousand suns, yet strangely adore the way you make me feel immediately after. It's perplexing really. So, here's the thing. I have GOT to get healthy. I know I've posted before about the importance of healthy body images. Having said that, let me say this. I am not entering a downward spiral of unhealthy eating and excerise habits for the sake of "looking good". Not at all. In fact, I am perfectly comfortable with myself (AND the extra 15 lbs generously gifted to me by my children). However, I am NOT comfortable with the fact that I will be 31 years old on Tuesday (gifts not required, but always appreciated. Thx) and have both high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Not cool. Not cool at all. I have always been "borderline" even back when I was eating like Bob & Jillian, running regularly and training for half marathons. It's hereditary (Thanks mom and dad! I would have preferred a trust fund, I'm just sayin'.) so it's something that I've dealt with, BUT I have been allowing myself to excuse exercising because I am "too busy". I have been eating "junk" because it's convenient and that alone is not healthy at all. If I lose weight as a by-product of exercising and eating clean, then great- so long as I am healthy.

Getting started again has been tough though. When I first started running several years ago, it was exciting and new. I couldn't imagine what running 13 miles would be like, but I was determined to find out. Then when I did it, I was stoked because I'd just conquered a mountain. Now, four years later, I KNOW what it feels like to run 13 miles and I distinctly remember how much it hurts. Knowing that makes it much harder for me to commit to another half marathon, but I did and I plan on running the New Orleans half in Feb 2010.

So, now that I've had a minute to myself, I am going to put my running clothes on and am logging 3 miles today. That's not a lot, I know, but I have 16 weeks to race time and am starting back out as a newbie. I've been running 1.5 a couple days a week, so I'll just be thankful if my heart doesn't give out at mile 2. Wish me luck!

Christmas in October! WHEE!!!

I just want to go on record right now and confess that, yes- the rumors are true…….

I totally put my Christmas tree up this past Sunday AND DECORATED IT TOO!!!

I don’t bother with Halloween decorations because, well as much as I do love a good Trick-or-Treat (that was totally not supposed to sound dirty, by the way), I just don’t really get into that particular holiday. One reason is that candy corn is disgusting. And another reason is that costumes ain’t cheap, yo. It pains me to spend cash money on a costume that I would probably never wear again. It is not conducive to my Dave Ramsey budget and to be honest with you - I’m cheap that way.

Christmas; however, ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF! We own more Christmas decorations than you could shake a stick at. (*edited to add: who came up with that saying anyway? Why shake sticks? Why not something cool, like turkey laigs? or feet?) Each year, my collection of Santa Claus’ grows by leaps and bounds, which is cool except that each year it takes longer and longer to put them all out, which is NOT cool because THEN it takes even longer to UN-decorate and seriously challenges my commitment of even decorating to begin with. I shall prevail though. I shall PREVAIL! This year we are doing things a little differently because Swaid (aka Buddy Love, Sir, Big Sir, Happy Jack, Smiley Joe Peterson, Thigh Roll, Big Love, Bug, Tater, Swaider-Tater, Becks, and most recently, Goat) is in fact, very much goat-like in his behavior in that he quite literally eats everything and anything not nailed down. One day I'm gonna find out that he has PICA - that disease that makes people eat dirt and coins and rubber bands and I will not be surprised. That being said, we’ve had to be a little more careful in staging our very own Winter Wonderland. We did put up the tree, which is basically the best part about Christmas with the exception of it being Jesus’ birthday and all, but we only hung the ornaments that allegedly “don’t break”. We’ll see about that. They have not met my son. We are also putting out the Santas, but will place them high atop the kitchen cabinets to ensure their safety. I’ve put a few other things here and there, but overall it’s a festive, scaled down version of last year. That's about all we'll do too, I think. I would LOVE to go Griswald outside and blind everyone with a quadrillion lights and giant inflatable snow globs and reindeer on the roof, and maybe a giant mechanical Santa that's all "Ho! Ho! Ho!" as he dips head first into a fake chimney top leaving only his behind in the air and his little feet kicking, etc, but we don’t own any of that stuff and even if we did, no one would be able to see so it’d be a moot point..... UNLESS, we buy land elsewhere and build ANOTHER house, but this time closer to the road and not have a driveway that’s 42 football fields long so EVERYONE could see our LIGHTS! But that’s a tall order and sure seems like a lot to ask of my husband, so we’ll make do.

Open Book, Closed Case

Recently I’ve begun receiving a popular “teen” magazine through the mail. No, I did not subscribe to it – I believe it is a “courtesy”, if you will, from the kind marketing folks of said magazine. To be perfectly honest, I usually do not read it. Most of the time, I don’t even birth it from its womb of sheer recycled plastic. I just throw it away. I hate being wasteful and before you criticize, I should point out to you that I am a married, thirty year old working mother of two toddlers. I cannot wear neon leggings with a tuxedo vest and still maintain my dignity. I just can’t do it. However, there was something about this most recent issue that caught my eye and I submitted myself willfully to those pages. The cover caption “3 Super-Models Spill Their Secrets” intrigued me so I dove in wholeheartedly. I mean, if there are Super-Model Secrets to be shared, I NEED TO LISTEN! After perusing through pages upon pages of advertising and twee little outfits, and oh! That one model classically posed with cupcakes? She had a virtual pastry in her hair. I was almost ready to give up, but well, “Whimsical” is the most appropriate word I can think of to adequately describe what I saw and I’m not going to lie to you - I like whimsical.

Scurrying through the pages like a mouse on its quest for the finest cheese, I couldn’t help but notice how the magazine practically yelled at me to “GO NEON!” It offered me nuggets of information such as “How to Rock Your Military Jacket” and sadly informed me that the 80’s are making a comeback. Really? Of all the decades to choose from, we picked the 80’s? Feeling a little depressed now because I vividly remember jelly shoes and how they blistered my delicate third grader feet, I trudge through because after all - there are Super-Model Secrets to be revealed!

The next thing I noticed was how tiny all these girls were. I was struck by their protruding cheekbones and non-existent backsides. “What is this promoting?” I asked myself. Before I could even start to answer, I’d reached an article on how the Internet is the reason for teens developing eating disorders. All I could say was O.M.G. I found it a little ironic that I’d just flipped through 165 pages of scarily thin girls only to be informed that the “Internet” was to blame. Hmm? So, I stopped and read it. See, several years ago, personal demons of my own led me to develop an eating disorder so I could relate to some of this article. However, my reasons didn’t involve what the television and internet promoted- I did it because I was trying to fill a void in my life.

After years of struggling, my void was filled when I was saved by grace. I was twenty one years old and for the first time ever, I truly felt beautiful. I was God's Super-Model. He literally whispered the words to me and even better – I believed Him. I knew He loved me for who I was. I was finally able to see myself through His eyes. This body that I loathed and complained of, He gave to me and allowed it to bring forth two precious babies. During my “woe-is-me” years I couldn’t understand why He was allowing difficulty to prevail. I soon realized that He had not only allowed me to walk through fire, but He graciously prevented me from being burned, as promised in Isaiah 43:2 (NIV).

Genesis 1:27 (NIV) says, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

What do those words speak to you? Do you understand that God created us in His likeness? That we should be compared to the Lord, in any way, shape, or form, is astounding. If we are created in His image, how can we think we are anything but beautiful? Yet apparently we do. Every day the world projects unhealthy images onto us. Celebrities boast about being size 0 and the healthy ones wearing average sizes are labeled “fat.” Among us are people that torture themselves because they do not meet the world’s standard of beauty. But, you guys? When you know the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior, you shouldn’t adhere to the world’s standard of beauty. Our culture is so focused on our exterior that they fail to address inner beauty. Proverbs 31:30 (NIV) says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised“. Isn’t that better than what we’re used to hearing?

The Secrets of the Super Model were never revealed to me. In part, because I couldn’t find the article and partly because I decided that I didn’t really care to find it. What difference would it make? If God our Father loves us with all of our imperfections, then who are we to question it? Do the opinions of teen magazine editors carry more weight than that of our Creator? No. No, they do not. To Him, we are all beautiful. He gave us a purpose and in order for us to effectively fulfill that, we cannot allow society to undermine His intentions. We can; however, spend a little more time with our Bibles opened and our teen magazines closed.

Workin' for the Weekend

Hi. My name is Christy. In case you've forgotten.....

I would be updating a whole lot more if it weren’t for this thing called a JAY-OHHH-BEE. That spells JOB, for those of you that are a leetle slow. It’s ok, this weather has us all a little flummoxed. And hot. And wet. And cold. And sticky. Then hot again. I’m gonna lay it out for you- I hate this weather. There. I said it. And while I’m confessing, I should also let you all know that I hate football too. Whew. It was like a weight has been lifted. In truth, I might possibly enjoy football if I knew the rules. But I don’t and the fact that I don’t like it enough at this point to even learn about it pretty much ends it for me. I do watch the Super Bowl though, even if it IS strictly for commercials and potential boobie flashes.

Besides, UFC is my sport of choice.

Hey- Have you ever heard of the Phatwater Challenge? Anyone? No? Well. My husband, MP, will be in it tomorrow. He will be competing against 100+ people in a kayak race down the Mighty Mississippi for 42.5 miles. You read that right. I’m borrowing my sister-in-law’s SWEET camera to take some cool pics and I’ll be positing them prolly next week or so. MP’s initial goal was to finish in under 5 hours; however, after months and months of training he has now set his sights on somewhere around the 4:30 mark. I’ll keep you posted!

Holla!

Dear Subway,

Dear Subway,
Listen. We go back a long time, right? Of course we do. Anyone that knows me can testify to the fact that I love you, Subway. I daresay I'm downright crazy about you. I was supportive of you long before Quizno's was a thought. But here's the thing...you really need to update the 411 on what "a little lite mayo" and "a sprinkling of sweet onion teriyaki sauce" means to your employees. I respect that they are called, "Sandwich Artists", but really? They have nothing to prove to me. These condiments are meant to compliment the sandwich, not to tell the sandwich to "Van Gogh to heck!" and drown out the veggies. So if you could just work on that, I'd be ever so appreciative.

Thx,
Christy

Guess what happened next?

Can I just say that I had like, the best weekend ever? Can I? Well, I did. It started out as a pretty uneventful Saturday. MP went on his 8,000 mile paddle and the kids and I just kind of chilled and relaxed…notice how I did NOT say “chillax”? It falls under my list of words of which I will never speak, right behind “Yummy” and several derivatives of the word “husband”. I just can’t do it. Fast forward to 2:00 pm. My long lost sister of another mister (and Mrs.), Brooke, picked me up en route to see Ms. Britney Spears in Bossier City, LA. I can’t tell you how excited I was about this concert because the words? They fail me. I almost lost control of my bladder is what I’m telling you. SO.EXCITED! So we drive for like, 4 hours and finally get to our hotel (Hilton in Shreveport) and we have about 2 hours of pre-concert beautifying time. And hamburgers. Don’t forget the hamburgers.

So, we leave the hotel around 7 ish for an 8pm concert. It is assigned seating and we don’t even know who the opening act is so we don’t rush it. We’re fashionably late with burgers in hand and we eat in the parking lot. SO- we get inside and Brooke informs me that she “may” have gone over my allotted ticket budget without my permission, is that okay? She flashes our tickets and we are immediately directed to the- are you ready for it?- VIP TABLE. Yes. We are rolling VIP at a Britney Spears concert- nevermind the fact that I am a thirty year old, married mother of two toddlers. JUST YOU NEVERMIND!

We get our VIP bracelets strapped on our wrists (left, NOT the right!) and try to find out seats. We are most unsuccessful so we ask someone and are directed to – are you ready for this?- THE FLOOR LEVEL. You guys, we are stage side, 2nd row standing at a Britney Flippin’ Spears concert. She was exactly 5.74 feet from us at most time. I KNOW?! We totally tried to play it cool, but our efforts were in vain. I am almost ashamed to tell you all that I squealed in delight right along with the 9 year olds directly in front of us.

You would think it didn’t get any better than that, but it SO DID. We get back to our hotel to discover that Britney is not there, much to our dismay. But THEN we find out that we JUST missed Neo, Michelle Rodriguez and the cute little boy that played Miley’s boyfriend in the Hannah Montana movie. They were all at our hotel, along with James Woods and REO Speedwagon. Brooke and I joked all night about how we needed to wear make-up at breakfast just in case we ran into a celebrity and had to snap a picture… hahahaha- it was a night of hypotheticals. What IF…..? UNTIL……..

The next morning we decided against room service and instead, headed to the hotel dining area. We were still wearing the night before’s eye makeup, so it didn’t require much effort to look presentable. Our waitress, Mona, was the best. She told us about all the celebrities that were housed at the hotel. Apparently, she told us, there are 3 movies being filmed in Shreveport and the Hilton is the “host” hotel. She confirmed that Britney was not staying there, but True Blood’s “Eric Northman” a/k/a “The hot, tall, blonde vampire” was. Now. I’ve not seen the show because I don’t have HBO, but I have a slew of friends (both real and facebook) who are truly, madly, deeply in love with this man.

Guess what happened next?

HE WALKED IN. At one point we were even at the buffet together. We wanted to meet him, but didn’t want to make a scene. So. We stalked a little. Not really, but yea we kinda did. We ate slowly…went back for seconds…..talked for 46 minutes and finally decided we were not able to wait him out. So, we headed to the lobby AND the next thing we knew- ALEX SKARSGARD WAS IN THE ELEVATOR WITH US. JUST THE 3 OF US. OMG. I KNOW!

What?!

In giving myself a mini mani/pedi early this AM, I had the unfortunate incident of having a toenail leap into my cup o' Joe. Hmmm. If that's how this day is gonna go down, I may just get right back in bed....

Well, I would if it weren't for the fact that I'll be seeing Ms. Britney Spears in concert in T minus 11 hours so I'm pretty STOKED!

In other news, my kid's a biter.

So, I’m happy to report that Huggies Overnight Diapers are the answer to everyone’s problems. Kid wetting through everything you put them in? Huggies Overnight Diapers. Kid won’t eat veggies? Huggies Overnight Diapers. Healthcare Reform? Huggies Overnight Diapers. World hunger? Huggies Overnight Diapers. H1N1? Huggies Overnight Diapers. Stray dog tearing up trash on your back porch and running off LIKE A COWARD? Huggies Overnight Diapers. You see where this is going, right? They’re awesome and I’m totally pimping them out right now. Even if you don’t have a kid per se, you NEED some of these Huggies Overnight Diapers. Really. They are life-changing.

In other news, my kid’s a biter. We had this problem when Brogan was a wee lass and in the first two years of her life, she bit 52 kids at daycare. As sure as I’m sitting in this chair, she actually bit 8 kids in 1 day – not a 24 hour period – an 8 hour daycare day. That’s every kid in her class at the time. In fact, Brogan was the reason that the “3 Bites and Your Kid Goes Home!” rule was instituted. You’re welcome. She did eventually outgrow it around the age of 2. After she bit me. On the arm. And then I bit her back. On the arm. YES I DID AND I DO NOT REGRET IT NOT ONE BIT. I was all "IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT, GET OUT THA KITCHEN, SISTER!" I was not having my child chomp on me for anything. Understandably, kids are kids and please take note that she had her fair share of bite marks, so it was totally reciprocal. But still, I was a little embarrassed when I got to the daycare and found out that she had been "quarantined" (their words- not mine) at lunch and forced to sit at a separate table because she bit kids when they got near her Cheeto’s. I don’t blame her really- they were the crunchy kind and everyone knows better than to mess with someone’s crunchy Cheeto’s. That’s just not kosher. But whatever. I was relieved when she stopped.

Fast forward to yesterday. Swaid bit two kids AND pinched someone’s cheek. I’d like to say it was provoked, but I’m almost certain it wasn’t. In fact, just yesterday morning Swaid got his first official "spanking" (yes. We spank. Please don't tell me how to raise my kids and I won't tell you how to raise yours. Thx.) when he clocked Brogan in the face with MP’s Blackberry. He hit her so hard that it left a mark on her forehead. Why? BECAUSE HE WAS BEING A JERK. I witnessed it- she had not provoked him. She wasn’t attempting to steal a toy from his chubby knuckled clutches. She- are you ready for this? – ASKED HIM IF HE’D HAD A GOOD NIGHT?! Are you hearing me? My sweet angel baby girl was showing concern for her brother when he maliciously attacked her. I think he’s watching too much UFC Fight Nights, but at least I know my boy’s got a MEAN RIGHT HOOK!

I had high hopes. I did. Really.

So, yesterday when I posted my “To-Do” list, I had high hopes. I did. Really. Unfortunately “high hopes” don’t plant your garden. Manual labor does. And manual labor wasn’t really welcomed ‘round these parts. You know what was though? A buffet lunch and nap time with my boy. By “boy”, I totally mean me and Big Sir. Bebe was on some sort of crazed-toddler-caffeine-infused-sugar-high. At one point I asked her who her dealer was because that behavior was the behavior of a crack fiend. OK, well maybe I didn’t ask her per se, BUT I THOUGHT IT. Sister was high on life and wasn’t napping for nobody. And if Bebe ain’t napping, ain’t nobody napping! Except that part’s a lie because I totally ditched MP and went to sleep. AND IT WAS GO-OD! HAHA! SUCKA!!! So she and MP played for like 14 hours.

When we awoke (at 5:00 PM btw), Bebe decided she needed to see the Big Fish. This is what she calls Bass Pro Shop….because of the big fish….see? So we went and saw the Big Fish and she was stoked. I thought for sure she would wear out as she had not had a nap, but she proved me wrong. While we were out that way, we thought we’d stop by the new Sam’s as well, but they close at 6:00 on Sunday so we didn’t get to shop. By the time we got home at 7’ish, Sir was half asleep, Bebe was begging for more circus peanuts, and MP and I both realized we had not gone to the store all weekend and determined that dinner was a free for all.

Yea, I just realized there’s really not much entertainment value in this blog entry. My bad, dawg.

What else? What else? What else?

Well, I’m switching to a new brand of diapers for Sir! Exciting, no? For real though, the boy whizzes through everything, specifically at night. Of course, I do let him take a bottle to bed so in hindsight I should prolly stop doing that and maybe decrease his liquids closer to bedtime, but in all honesty- I’m just not gonna do that. Hey- we all have our vices. Mine is coffee, Brogan sleeps with the TV on and MP? His vice is MY LOVE. Well okay, he’s the normal one over here and doesn’t have any. Whatever. Don’t judge us. I’ll report Sir’s nightly activity tonight and see how he does with the new ones. It’s not so much that I hate having crib sheets to wash every day (remember I’ve made my own detergent so I get a little excited when I get to use it!) No, it’s more that I hate to bathe him every.single.morning. ESPECIALLY since I’m probably already running late. Tru dat.

My plans for this week are pretty laid back (with my mind on my money and my money on my mind)….

I’ll be Wal-Martin’ it today. MP will be paddling a couple nights this week. UFC Wednesday night on TV and I plan on running 2-3 miles a few nights. I’d still love to till the garden, but we’ll see. That’s really more of a “weekend” thing. Also, at some point I’ve got to clean house again (ugh, does it EVER end?) and on Friday I’ll be preparing to see Britney in concert with my homey, Brooklyn C! Yea, and I’m way more excited about that than any 30 year old mother of two really should be.

Sunday Plans

So, since yesterday could officially go down in the Guiness Book of World Records as "the laziest day a live human has ever had", I'll try and redeem myself today. MP is off on his long paddle at present, but will be back in time for 11:00 service. Ideally, he'd be back in time to help me get both kids ready for said 11:00 service, but we'll see. I'm pretty sure that I'll drop them off at my parents in their pj's and call it "getting them ready by myself." Since Sir had a bout of strep or as I like to say, "The Strap", AND since the H1N1 is apparently RAMPANT around the parts, I'm not entirely comfortable taking them to child care. I know it's a little ridiculous since I take them to daycare 5 days a week, but to me it's one less chance of exposure. Whatever. It makes me feel a little better, plus I don't like having to deal with the screams and cries of trying to drop them off with a stranger.

Anyway, that's not the point of the story. The point is, well I'm not entirely sure I have one yet, but we'll go with it. Yesterday was fantastically lazy and glorious. MP didn't have work day at deer camp due to the 50% possibility of rain. So we were lazy. We didn't wash a dish - we didn't change a sheet - we didn't do a single chore all day. We slept late, made chocolate chip pancakes, went to the Zoo (and didn't let the kids touch ANYTHING, BTW), celebrated my nephew's 2nd bday at my parent's house, NAPPED, cooked dinner and ate. Oh, and we played ALL DAY LONG. Brogan wanted a tea party? We had a tea FEAST. Swaid wanted a ball? We rolled that thing all over this house. Bebe and I read the same book about 5 times. To break the monotony I totally made up my own words - she can't read so she didn't know the difference. But she LOVED it!

I am really hoping we can work on our garden today, but I'm almost certain that MP will be wiped out this afternoon after paddling 894 miles today. Maybe not that many, but whatever. 10 miles to me = 894. My plans for the day include:

1- church
2- nap
3- straighten house
4- laundry (i only have 1 load and it's already in the washer!!!)
5- garden... maybe. maybe. maybe
6- send my kids home with someone
7- work outside - this can really only be accomplished if I can send my kids home with someone
8- grocery shop - I almost forgot about this one

Wish me luck!

20th (or is it 21st?) century Pioneer

So, as of late - and by “late” I totally mean “last weekend”, I have decided to become a 20th (or is it 21st?) century Pioneer. You read that right. I'm planning on taking sewing classes and with the small exceptions of a mini van, cable television, The Internet, electricity, VS underthings, my iPhone, frequent WalMart trips, an outside-the-home-job, and debt, I am basically a modern day Amish lady. Could practically be twins.

You: “How did it come to this, oh wise one?”

Me: “Dear loyal blog reader: that is indeed a very good question. And I shall answer thee accordingly – I want to save money, eat healthier, and in general – Be Green (er)”

You: “Dos thee dare say Greeneth?” (at some point in this conversation you turned Elizabethian)


Me: “GREENETH INDEED, GOOD SIR!” (….and I am now British)

You: “How would one begin to endeavor to conduct ones manner to reflect a Green lifestyle, Sensei?” (now you are a Ninja)

Me: “Check this, partna. First off, I made homemade laundry detergent and it’s so fresh ‘n so clean clean! Then I holla’d at MP and was all, “Look homey- shawty needs a garden”. I’m still working on the chickens though and MP is all, "Look, chickenhead - MP ain’t down wif da chickens” (and I am a rapper)

So what started this whole thing was last weekend when I did approximately eleventy trillion loads of laundry. I went thru like 2 bottles of detergent and a bottle of fabric softener. That’s like $15 bucks, by the way. Anyway, as luck would have it, my mother has been getting into frugality. In conversation, I mentioned all the laundry I’d done and she told me that she’d just made homemade detergent ala “The Duggars”. Now, there aren’t nearly as many of us as there are the Duggars, but I would challenge them to a laundry dual ANY.DAY. Brogan can’t handle getting anything on her clothes so she changes about 12 times a day and Swaid? Well, let’s just say that the boy could flood a pool. He doesn’t “tinkle”, he waters our lawn. And the neighbor’s lawn. And possibly yours too. We got lots o’ laundry, is what I’m saying.

The recipe for this detergent is cheap and super easy. And since "cheap" and "super easy" are two of my favorite adjectives, I tried it:

2 parts Borax (I used 4 cups)
2 parts Washing Soda (I used 4 cups)
1 part grated Ivory soap (1 bar equals 2 cups, so I used 1 whole bar)

Other than being environmentally safe, the best part about it is the cost. It was like $6 to buy everything, but I still have 2/3 box of both the washing soda and the borax and still have 2 bars of soap left. You only use 2 TBSP per load – 3 if it’s a large load. It might be the best stuff ever.

I also found a recipe for fabric softener as well, but I haven’t made it yet. When I do though, I’ll let you know.

I’m hoping we can get out garden started this weekend. MP has a work day at deer camp (he’s a hunter / gatherer, you know) and still has long paddle scheduled so we’ll see if there’s time. I plan to take pics of the before, during and after!!! And I'll keep asking about the chickens. Maybe next summer we can have some! Maybe. I might have changed my mind by then.....

Good Housekeeping?

Good Housekeeping says, "Conceal clutter with stylish storage. Decorative boxes blend in with books and art on shelves."

I say, "THAT'S HOW WE GOT IN THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE- BY STASHING CLUTTER IN VARIOUS PLACES?!"

More Fun Facts!

82. I love to nap. So I realize that probably sounds totally lazy, but it’s not! Well, ok, maybe a little, but still- I utilize my “disco naps” to increase my productivity. It benefits everyone really…..Note to self: request mandatory nap time at Work Place……

83. I’m a terrible correspondent. Like possibly the worst ever. Just text me- I guarantee you’ll get a quick response!

84. I refuse to hand wash a dish. I do. I bought a mighty fine dishwasher (dish waRsher, if you are deep South) and I let it earn its keep. I do not have time to hand waRsh a dirty dish. That’s a lie. I refuse to MAKE time to waRsh a dish. It’s gross and I just don’t wanna touch it.

85. I do not “backtrack” when driving…EVER. If we have passed it and you realize you need it? Suck it up, Indiana Jones, because we are NOT going back after it….unless it’s gas, but even then I will debate a “backtrack” .

86. Generic brand cheese tastes like generic cheese. It’s disgusting. OK, that’s more of an opinion than an “interesting fact:’ however, I find it “interesting” that generic brand cheese tastes NOTHING LIKE CHEESE AT ALL. I don’t know what it is, but if something so vile leaves me speechless? IT CAN’T BE GOOD FOR HUMANITY.

87. I just realized I have had over 1900 hits in 2 months- WOW. Thanks guys – that’s like 950 people per month!!!! INSANE?! Also- for you fact-checkers, if you look to the toolbar on your right you’ll see 1 Stat Counter. It prolly only says 1600 ish…. This is because it was added AFTER the stat counter on the bottom that I log into. The bottom Stat Counter is the accurate one. Also, I do not know how to change the top one… so you’ll just have to TRUST ME, YO!

88. TongueGate ’09 has seemed to resolve itself. You can all rest easy now. Time is a miracle cure.

89. Yesterday was my 5 year anniversary at Work Place. Gifts are always appreciated and feel free to take me to lunch anytime. I’m kidding (but not really….) Hahahaha! (but not really) Smile. (BUT NOT REALLY)

Dear That Guy

Dear That Guy,
I really have to hand it to you for you have outdone yourself today. Not everyone can make me think about how many different ways I could assault you with this spoon and totally get away with it quite the way you do. The way you talk on your cell phone at an obnoxiously loud level astounds me. I cannot even hear the words coming out of my friend's mouth. You know, That Guy, I envy the way you openly discuss your business for the general population to hear. You made how much money again? In US dollars? Oh, and yen too! Wow. Can I touch you? Maybe just once…? And here I thought restaurants were for eating- but No! Alas, you have managed to transform your corner booth from “restaurant booth” into your “personal office away from your other office.” Kudos. I have never seen that done on HGTV.

You order the waitress around like she’s a paid secretary and that’s not cool, yo. And did you really just tell her the food “sucked”? Oh yea, I like the way you pick on her, but won’t dare say it to the cook. For you are a small man, That Guy, and the cook? Why, he is a literal giant. I respect the way you think you are much bigger than you actually are, but secretly know better. I see you’ve realized you were out of line with her so now you appear “flirty”. Gross. You have a combover. She is not interested. Plus, she is like 30 years your junior. She is still not interested. You do not give up though. You are “That Guy”. You have leather shoes with no socks and golf shorts on. From this angle, it appears you may have even “popped” your collar on that Polo. Ralph Lauren would be proud. You are a sight to behold, That Guy. The waitress is still being nice to you. Probably because she needs your tip, but you know that. You are intentionally trying to push her buttons, yet she keeps a smile on her face. I feel bad for her; however, it DOES humor me to know that she has probably spit in your drink already and that thought makes me laugh. I used to work in the food industry so I know….Oh? What’s that now? You don’t care about what I have to say? Much like the person on the other end of the phone. They must not be very verbal or maybe that’s just because you haven’t stopped talking long enough for them to say anything. Right…you’re the boss. Tell me again about that merger with that company in a country I’ve never heard of. Oh my! What did you just say?! I mean, I am actually pretty intelligent and I can honestly say I’ve never heard that word before. It certainly doesn’t sound very nice though. I would probably spank my 3 year old if she said that to me. Are you sure you should be yelling it out with small children nearby? Oh, that’s right- you don’t care. You are "That Guy". Rules don't apply to you.

OK, I've had about all I can take.

You, Sir, are certainly too big for your britches as my grandma would say. You are one of a kind. Now, listen- I don’t mean to judge you or anyone for that matter- I know better than to throw stones, but you are making it downright impossible for me not to do so. In fact, I want to throw a stone and I kinda want that stone to hit you in your head. So as not to slander you, I will preface saying “You are a jerk!”, with “In my opinion…” That way it’s totally legal.

PS – if you don’t tip her, I will throw this spoon at you and make it look like an accident- DON’T TRY ME!

August 27, 2009

August 27, 2009

So, I hope you all enjoyed my 6 part mini-series about The Best Worst Vacation Ever! It was quite an adventure. I daresy it was the Best Worst Adventure in all the land! It was SUCH an adventure; in fact, that there were several parts left out due to the ridiculous length of the story. Good times, though. Good times.
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Brogan has apparently turned into a mouth teenager like overnight. I’m not quite sure how to deal with this situation, but I am positive that the next time she tells me “whatever” and rolls her eyes at me, it may very well be the last thing she ever does. Ingrate. Hmph!
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So, I’ve starting running again. And by running, I totally mean “running”. It’s more of a trot really, but not quite a gallop. And to be honest, there is a good bit of walking in place of “running”, but let’s not split hairs – it’s still a cardiovascular activity. I should preface this by saying that I used to live for running. Do you hear me? LIVE. That was before kids though, back in the days when I had plenty of free time, oh and money. MP and I used to run races every weekend and not to toot my own horn or anything, but I almost always placed in my age group. Those were my glory days, so you can just imagine my surprise when I got back out there last night and NEARLY DIED. You guys- it was so, so bad. I would say it sucked, but MP says I use that word too much. As such, let’s just say it “VACUUMED”. A LOT. I have never felt more out of shape. I am almost too embarrassed to tell you that, mid-run, I totally ducked into a restaurant and begged for water. I am not kidding you. I was all “Dude, (huff-huff), I would normally (huff-huff) NEVER do this (huff-huff), but I mean- I am about to (HUFF-HUFF) DIE. Can I (HUFF-HUFF) please (HUFF-HUFF) have some water?” The guy was all, “So, you’re about to die? Is that right?” And I’m all, “DE-FIB! DE-FIB!” and he gave me water.

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True Story of the Best Worst Vacation Ever: Season Finale

On the road again, we found that our spare tire wasn't holding air as it should. We located a hole-in-the-wall all night gas station for a tire plug and were accosted by a man who, if memory serves me, tried to convince us that he could fix the tire with chewing gum? We left as quickly as we could and soon we found ourselves in Louisiana. We decided to stop and rest, plus we were really hungry and really tired of Mexican food. We found a place that sold hot wings. It was after lunch, but still early afternoon. Besides us, there was only one other couple in the entire restaurant. Marty and I joked about the black cloud following us and how we couldn't believe all the bad things that happened. All of a sudden, I heard the girl next to us speak words to her date that I have never heard spoken in real life before. "I'm sorry, but I cannot marry you. Here....", she said as she handed him the engagement ring back. We were floored. All we could say was, "dude, I'm really sorry" and we high tailed it out of there before something worse happened.

We breathed a sigh of relief when we crossed the Mississippi line and an even bigger sigh when we saw our house. We had to come home first to unload the cargo and to get a second vehicle so that we could drop the rental off at the airport. We take a few more pictures with our disposable camera and leave again. We dropped the car off and rehashed our events during the car ride home. It was really all we could talk about. We talked about how no one would believe us and how glad we were to have taken pictures of the speeding ticket, the flat tire, the luggage, etc. Home again for good, we realized we had two more pictures left to take. I used them on our cat and rewound the camera. I was getting these bad boys developed as soon as possible! Well, I would have, but during rewinding the film snapped in half and could not be salvaged. "Well, that's just the icing on the cake!" we said. We didn't even unpack. We bathed, ate, and settled in on the couch for some relaxation. I don't remember who thought to check the answering machine, but suddenly the room was overwhelmed with the following message: "Mr. Puckett, this is Delta airlines. We are calling to inform you that the Jackson airport has been closed and your flight canceled; however, we have made alternate flight arrangements for you. Please contact us at ........."

I am not even kidding you.

True Story of the Best Worst Vacation Ever Part 5/6

We spent the remainder of our time there just being tourists. We shopped and visited with locals. We had family there that we spent time with. On our last day, we made the drive back to Albuquerque. It was nice and we'd wished we had just one more day to spend. As we had actually allotted one extra day of vacation, we decided to call Delta and see if we could change our flight. It was a good thing we did because we were informed that the Jackson airport was closed due to a severe thunderstorm and all flights, ours included, had been canceled. Huh? Oh, and the next flight out? Well, it could not be determined. It would have been nice to have known that prior to our driving three hours. We'd have much rather stayed in Durango. We tried to make alternate travel arrangements and requested to be put on whatever plane they had to wherever it was going, we didn't care, but Delta could not assist us.

Nonetheless, we could get through this. After all, we had managed to fix a broken bow, driven in 100 degree non-AC accommodations, contorted ourselves into a micro machine, survived 30 hours in the wilderness, narrowly escaped a broken finger and avoided a $25k fine. We were getting home and weren't about to let flight cancellation stop us. We made the decision to drive from New Mexico to Jackson, MS.

We thought the drive would be fun. Just the two of us driving cross country, enjoying each other's company- it just sounds ideal, doesn't it? It was all that and more until we got to Texas. We hit a speed trap and were given a speeding ticket. We continued on and ultimately decided to just drive through the night. With our luck thus far, we knew that any hotel we dared to stay in might catch fire and we didn't want to chance it. At around 2 am somewhere in the most remote part of Texas, we got a flat tire. It was a good thing we stopped though because as Marty was disassembling the luggage in our trunk to get the jack, I had an intestinal emergency. See, my "system" had been out of whack all week and I decided to take a medication that may or not have contained the word "LAX" in its title. Don't judge me. Desperate times called for desperate measures. So as he was hunkered over the flat tire, I was off hunkered over some shrubs. Once we'd both contained ourselves, we took pictures of the flat tire with our previously-purchased-for-the-sake-of-good-hunting-pics-Kodak-disposable camera.

True Story of the Best Worst Vacation Ever Part 4/6

It turned dark on us while we walked, but fortunately we were just close enough that with flashlights, we were able to make it out that night. It had been almost 30 hours since our ordeal had begun. It had been three hours since we'd found out that if the helicopter (that had been
dispatched minutes before the ground Search and Rescue found us) had found us first, we would have been fined twenty five thousand dollars. No, you read that right. The fine was $25,000.00. Why? Because you remember me telling you that Marty had purchased a hunting license in the amount of $537.50? Apparently, $2.50 of that is insurance. I did not buy a hunting license because I was not hunting. I should have bought a hiking license for $2.50.

You would think that that would be the end of my story, but you would be wrong. Once we'd arrived back to the comfort of a warm bath and bed, I realized just how beaten up I was. I was physically unable to walk up the stairs to our bedroom so I was forced to "scoot" up and down the stairs for two days. The first thing I did - even before my bath - was throw away my boots. They were damaged beyond repair and had failed me feet. My socks were stained black from the burnt brush. I had cuts and scrapes and bruises. The soreness was what really got me. I required large amounts of anti-inflammatories to make it out of bed over the next two days.

Once my body and I were back on speaking terms, we ventured into town. Our first stop was to purchase a new pair of boots. Our second stop was dinner with the Search and Rescue crew. As we headed to meet them, we got the call that George's truck had a broken axel and was stranded. We went to help and as Marty was assisting in loading the truck onto a trailer, something broke and the weight of the truck came crashing down on his hand. Nothing was broken, but it took months for his finger to fully recover. We finally ate dinner and surprisingly, the meal was uneventful.

On day three after our ordeal, I felt well enough to attempt camping again. We found a spot that looked ok, but more importantly it was safe. We hiked in, pitched our tent and began to hunt. That night as we settled into our uneven tent, we heard a strange yet familiar noise. We looked out and saw several men driving out on four-wheelers. They were so close we could hear their conversations. They never saw us, but Marty knew that this spot wasn't all that we thought it would be. Discouraged and disappointed, we decided to get some sleep, which we did, until we heard "mooing." We were basically in a cow pasture on a mountain side. Nice.

True Story of the Best Worst Vacation Ever Part 3/6

Now, let me try to explain to you the layout of the land. If you can imagine a big bowl-shaped ridge- almost like a toilet bowl. You have the toilet-seat which would be the upper ridge level and then you have the actual bowl part at the bottom, which is where we were. Now, in this bowl part, imaging little tiny mountains (literal mountains, not what you might find in an actual toilet because, well that's just gross). Each of these little mountains went straight up and straight down and in order to get to where we needed to be, we had to hike up and down every one of them. We decided our best course of action was to climb to the very top of the ridge, as opposed to staying in the bottom of the bowl. Once we finished trekking each of these mini mountains, we finally made it to the base of the ridge. I am not going lie to you. As we climbed that ridge, every part of me wanted to give up. It was almost like rock climbing with no pulley. The altitude made it hard to breathe. My glutes burned. My brain was all "I really should have trained more on the stairmaster!" and my legs were all "I hate you." I had not worn adequate foot protection and my boots rubbed blisters upon actual blisters. My feet bled, my toes threatened to cut me in my sleep and my heels concurred that I should sleep with one eye open. I was in so much physical pain that at one point I sat down, fell back and declared they would just have to carry by dead body out of there because I was done.

When we'd finally made it to the top of the ridge, we could see the town of Durango, CO. It was a glorious site and was only thirteen (13!) miles away. Now, all we had to do was get there...by foot, preferably before dark. We had been walking for about an hour or so, when we heard the first gun shot. We yelled and screamed, but there was silence. We waited until we heard it again. This time, Marty shot his own pistol to signal to the others. We saw no one and didn't know if they were hunters or day hikers or the entire cast of "Deliverance", but we didn't care. We wanted out. The next thing I remember is hearing our names being called and you guys- it was one of the best feelings I've ever had in my life. It didn't even matter to us that the voices were coming from down below. Like, from where we just came from, below. As fast as we could go, we hobbled all the way back down that ridge to the nearing voices until finally we saw the riders on horseback. It was Search and Rescue.

I still remember how awesome it felt to be rescued. More specifically, I can remember the Snickers bar and water that was provided to us. Now our only problem was getting back out. Surely we weren't too far away, right? Wrong. It was getting late, but we had to be close enough that we'd still get out by dark, right? WRONG. We had gotten five miles from where we needed to be. Five miles back up and down the little toilet bowl mountains to the other side. We had to move fast because if it turned dark, we'd be stuck for a second night and I was not down for that. I just wasn't. Thus began our death march.

True Story of the Best Worst Vacation Ever Part 2

We dropped off our luggage at George's place and carrying only the clothes on our back, Marty's bow, a pistol and a day pack containing an emergency blanket, two granola bars and a
bottle of water, we get to the base of the mountain and mark the coordinates on our GPS. Marking it not once, but twice, we set off on the adventure of a lifetime. We hiked for what seemed like eternity, determined the land looked good and even heard the elk bugle. The temperature cooled as the sun dawned, so we decided to head back and get a good nights rest. We were going to get an early start in the morning. "Which way out?" asked MP. I knew he was kidding because we had come in from the right. I knew we needed to turn to the left and go back the way we came. Marty thought so too, but the GPS indicated we would be wrong in our assumption. In fact, the GPS told us to keep going the way we were going. We knew this was wrong, but we would be idiots to disregard the GPS. I mean, it is operated via satellite in space! So, we obliged and heeded the directions of the Garmin GPS. We walked to the spot where the GPS said our vehicle should be and of course, it wasn't there. By this time we have walked for hours and it is getting very dark and very cold. All Marty could say was, "Well, it looks like we're here for the night." I can almost hear the fright in his voice. Not about staying the night in the bear country with no supplies. I suspect it was the fear of what my reaction might be. To his surprise, I said "OK" , as I made myself as comfortable as I could on the ground. We did manage to get a fire started and I actually slept really well that night. Well, except for that one time when a spark leapt from the fire onto my face. That was not cool, but other than that, it wasn't bad. Marty, on the other hand, had quite a night. He was the one getting up every hour on the hour to stoke the fire. He was also the one who heard a low growling that he suspected to be a bear. We had been warned about the high bear population in the place we were stranded, thus the reason for the pistol. He was asleep when he first heard the grumbling. It woke him, but he saw nothing. When he drifted off, he heard it again. This time he grabbed his pistol and jumped up. Only then did he recognize the faint grumbling was actually me snoring.We awoke early that next morning. The only food we had was the two granola bars previously mentioned and what water we had leftover from the day before, which was not much. We shared a granola bar and began our walk out. The GPS was of no use to us. The date was September 11. I remember that because I cursed the US Government and swore they had messed with our satellites, which caused the error. Laugh now, but at the time I truly believed it was a governmental conspiracy.

True Story of the Best Worst Vacation Ever Part 1

My husband, Marty, and I decided in September 2004 that we would go camping and elk hunting in Colorado together. His father, George, had taken a contract job there and his residence was literally at the base of the mountain of which we would hunt. I had never been elk hunting, but Marty believes it to be the greatest adventure ever, next to kayaking, of course. As the date approached, Marty was ready. He practiced with his bow, as to not miss the kill shot and we physically trained, as the altitude was wicked. Our airline tickets had been purchased and our room and board were secured. The day before the trip we packed and packed some more. As Marty was packing his bow, the serving on his bow broke. This is where we should have realized it was going downhill fast.On the first day of our trip, we flew from Jackson, MS into Albuquerque, NM. From there, we rented a car and made the three hour drive to Durango, CO. I remember the heat. Although this was Colorado, it was hot. Of course, that could have been because we missed our turn and went about one hour in the wrong direction when the air conditioner went out in our mid size rental car. "No problem", we thought, "We'll just exchange it for another car in Durango." Easy enough. You'd be wrong. We were able to exchange the car, but only for a compact. Remember, we had packed a lot of stuff. It took about 30 minutes to get the new car loaded. The luggage fit in the trunk like that of a jigsaw puzzle.

Upon leaving the rental facility, we made the traditional stop at Wal-Mart, as we do on every vacation. This time, we had to purchase Marty's hunting license. It was $537.50. I wasn't hunting, so I didn't need one, but I did get some candy because that- I did need. It was still early in the day when we arrived at George's temporary residence. It would still be several hours before he got back from work, so we decided it was a great time to hike the mountain and do some scouting. After all, we had spent a lot of money on this trip and we wanted the best possible camping spot available.

God is Good!

I just got back from lunch with a very good friend of mine. She's one of those friends that you may not see or speak to for like, 8 months, but when you do get together it's like no time passed at all. One of those friends who is extremely smart and beautiful and funny and really has no brain filter, so she says the first thing that comes to mind. A friend that proudly declares herself to be a "strong, black woman!" even though she isn't, in fact, black, but rather of Indian descent. You know, one of "those" kind of friends. They are the best. And I love her.

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So, lately I've been feeling like I've been led to do "something". Not necessarily something different, but I guess just something "more", if you will. I haven't yet put my finger on it though. I wish God would just text me and say, "Listen up. This is what I want you to do...." And I could be all, "A'ight, God- I'm IN, yo!" But He hasn't. So I have prayed about it. And prayed about it some more. I love to sing, but with 2 babies and a kayaking husband it's hard to commit to such a rigorous schedule. So I thought some more and one of the things that seems to stand out is my love of writing. I love it. I daresay, it is my passion. I don't know that I'm all that good, but I do know that writing makes me happy. It's the one thing I could do all day and not get bored and STILL want to do it some more. Unlike so many things I have tried like, childcare and cooking dinner for people. I'm not gonna lie to you- I am not jonesing to cook for anyone. So, writing it is- Great! I'll do something to glorify the Lord with that! Yes! OK, but what? I honestly do not know. Other than writing a blog that a few people read and some quips on Facebook, I'm kinda at a loss. I don't think Pinelake has a kiosk geared towards "Writing for Jesus!" Hmmm. Ok.

Well, that led me to think about maybe joining a bible study. I know. I can't quite make the connection myself, but go with me. I am not ready to commit to a Sunday night small group again. It's just too much for us and the kids, so I looked at some women's bible studies. OK, then I realize the scheduling conflict. Most of the women's bible studies offerred are on Tuesdays. In the morning. While I am at work. Working. Hmmm, that;s not gonna work. So THEN I thought I heard a voice saying to me, "Duh, start your own?" Hello. So I decided to start a group geared towards working moms. Still feeling a little sketchy because, I AM NOT A TEACHER, LIKE AT ALL- DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH! OMG- NO ONE IS GOING TO WANT TO JOIN MY GROUP AND THEY ARE ALL GOING TO LAUGH AT ME AND I'LL BE THAT KID THAT HAS TO EAT ALONE EVERY DAY AT SCHOOL!

But lo and behold, guess what happened. I texted 6 working moms and within 30 seconds ALL OF THEM REPLIED BACK AND I WAS 6/6! God is good! We're still in the developmental stages, but I'll let you know how it goes!

I'd rather be at home today

8/3/09
Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up and want nothing else more than to just stay home? Today is most definitely one of them. I didn’t want to get out of bed and I most certainly didn’t want to haul myself into work today. Do you know what I’m saying? It’s not that I didn’t want to come to work, per se. It’s just that I would rather not have. But I’m here. And I’m making it just fine. And I’m using my generously offered 15 minute break to type this. After all, I don’t smoke so how else am I to use my time, I ask you?!

Speaking of time, this past weekend just went by way too fast for my liking. We had a ton of stuff to do, but surprisingly didn’t do any of it. We did not bring dinner to our close friend. Not because we didn’t want to, but because her Saint husband took their 2 oldest children out of town for the weekend and it was just her and the babies (identical twin boys!) and her parents. She was just gonna chill for the night, so we’re rescheduling for another time. Oh, and we did not attend all 3 birthday parties as planned either AND I DON’T EVEN FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. Strike that. I feel bad enough to send gifts and a little bad because I always try to attend everything I’m invited to (edited to add: please do not consider this an open invitation to invite me to every Aloette, Premier Jewelry, Pampered Chef, Avon, Southern Living, or Mary Kay party you might be thinking to host – at this point in my life, the generosity of my extra time and money is devoted solely to my children and their subsequent invites. Thx.) Well, my mother DID take Brogan to the splash park party Saturday morning and, of course, she still hates it. So I’m glad I missed that one. Bebe didn’t come home until almost 2:00 pm wherein she promptly fell asleep and slept thru bday party # 2. We were planning on attending the 6:15pm party FO SHO, YO! but several things happened that prevented us from actually doing so. 1- Swaid slept for MOST OF THE DAY, but still fell asleep before the 6:15 party. 2- the rain came and we didn’t want to get out in it and 3- Brogan hates Pump-It-Up. Like hates it a lot, so we saved them $5 and a whole lot of irritation by her not attending. It was great. Well, except for the rain- that part sucked. I think I’ve facebooked about how “over it” I am. I still feel that way. Except possibly even more now that my grass ATE MY CAR.

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I’m sure I’ve mentioned that Beckham Swaid Puckett will turn 1 on August 20th!!! Well, I think I’ve finally decided to do a pirate-themed birthday party for him. I no HE won’t care, but I can’t think of anything else. Plus I found a super cute “wench” costume for Bebe. I know it sounds tacky, but you just have to see it. It really is more adorable than hooch, I promise. That’s as far as I’ve gotten though on party details. I’m in a bit of a dilemma as to WHEN to have it. His birthday is the Thursday, 20th, so I thought about a party on Saturday, the 22nd. But I have one sister-in-law and nephew that won’t arrive from Colorado until the 23rd. Not for the party, but for other reasons. I could have the party on Sunday, 23rd and that would be ok too, except that my OTHER sister-in-law may do something crazy, like GIVE BIRTH TO MY AS OF YET UN-NAMED NIECE! If she does, then she’ll be out of commission for that day. And I really want her to be there?! What to do? What to do? Part of me (ok, well A LOT of me) feels bad for not having a spendicularly (I’m totally gonna trademark that word, by the way) lavish hoorah for his 1st because I did that with Brogan. Of course, I also vowed to “never do that again”, but you know how mothers are. And I would hold his party and the exact same venue as her First party was, had they not shut their doors forever. Apparently they did not consider my future needs when they decided to close. Ingrates. The only thing left would be to host it at my house. Which was great for 3 year olds. Because they could play with stuff. Outside. That’s the keyword here. OUTSIDE. As much as I love kids, I just don’t want 1000 of ‘em running about mah crib. It’s bad enough that I have to clean beforehand, but the mess afterwards? ALMOST MAKES LIFE NOT WORTH LIVING.

All that being said, I’m down to either:

A) Suck it up and party on the 15th at my house with family and closest friends only and deal with the hating of all the cleaning
B) NOT have a big party and then deal with hating myself for not adequately celebrating the birth of my only son

Hmmm. I guess my money’s on A.

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PS- I am really, REALLY tired of Katy Perry’s “Waking up in Vegas”. Enough already.

PPS- I am also really tired of “bad things coming in three’s”. Some slack, please?

PPS- Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get a 3 year old to stop sucking their thumb or “drinking her fum” in Brogan-speak?

Food for Thought

As much as I am enjoying my time with no kids (technically Swaid is HERE, but is in his bed playing) I do miss my Bebe. One of the things she asks us daily is "Do I make you happy?" I know, it's sweet, right? And every day we reply, "Yes, baby. You make us very happy" and her little face lights up brighter than all the stars in the sky! She doesn't stop there though. No. She puts forth effort to make us happy. She actually TRIES. She dances for us. She obeys us. She's sweet to her brother. She sings for us. Basically, she's our entertainment, but she does it with such a sweet and loving nature that it's almost wrong to consider it "entertainment"- it's more like we watch her in amazement as any loving parent would. In every thing she does, she stops and asks, "Do I make you happy?" She strives to please us and it makes her happy to know that she's made us happy. I was thinking about that this morning and was struck with the thought "What if I put forth that much effort for God?" What if I stopped every day and asked Him out loud "Do I make you happy?" How much more self-aware of my actions would I be? Answer: A LOT. How often would I yell at people for poor driving? A LOT LESS. How much more could my "good" behavior make God smile? A LOT MORE. Do you see where this is going?

Then I got to thinking what if all believers put as much effort into making God happy as Brogan does to make me happy? I daresay it'd be better than 3 birthday parties and a Wildlife extravaganza at Disney World on a tax free weekend. How awesome would this world be?

I can honestly say that I've never given much thought to the question "God, do I make you happy" until now. When I am praising Him in song at home or church or in the car, am I making Him happy? Yes. I think I do. When I show kindness to strangers for something as simple as holding an elevator? Does that make Him happy? Absolutely. What about just being obedient and putting your shoes like I've told you for the 1000th time! or calling that person that you know He placed on your heart, even though you really don't want to? What about that? Without a doubt.

I can't help but think that He watches us in amazement every day. We are His entertainment and to think about how much greater is His sinless, perfect love than our sin-filled, selfish love is astounding. It almost leaves me speechless, which is saying something spectacular. Think about it and today, in all that you do, stop and ask Him "Do I make you happy?" I think you'll find that if you are conscious of it, you'll hear a lot more "Yes baby. You make Me very happy." And then your face will light up brighter than all the stars in the sky.

Advice Requested

I'm gonna try to make this a quick one because I have 1 child asleep and 1 child GONE and one husband in a boat on the water somewhere on mile something of his TWENTY mile kayak adventure. I am a happy woman this AM. A happy woman in a dirty house. So I really can't even enjoy my alone-ness because yo, my house is bad. Like BAD, bad. Not cluttery bad, unless you count the 2 extra chairs and the QUEEN SIZE BED IN OUR LIVING ROOM. It is mainly in serious need of mopping, dusting, windexing and vacuuming bag and I fully intend on doing all that today despite the fact that A) the Wildlife Extravaganza is here. Don't mock me. I like it. B) the tax free sale is going on! C) Brookshires has most of their meat "Buy 1 Get 1 for a PENNY!! D)I have to cook dinner for a friend tonight AND E) our attendance has been requested at 3 birthday parties (at the 2 places Brogan hates most in this world- splash park and Pump-it-Up).

Fortunately, we pawned her off on my parents yesterday and since my niece, who was also pawned off on said parents, is invited to the SAME party- gamma and peepaw are hitting the Splash Park with 2 girls today. I should probably tell them of Brogan's hatred of such place, but then again- it might deter them from taking her for me. And I really don't want to go thru THAT again. Hmmm. Ethical dilemma? I'm gonna let them take their chances and I'm gonna try to cleanse mah homestead.

Man. Big Sir has risen. Why did I jinx it? WHY?

Since Becks (Swaid, Big Sir, Sir Thighs, Sir, Tater, Swaid-er Tater, Beckham -just pick one) is up, I figure I have about 10 minutes until he's tired of crib playing and is ready to eat. again. After all, it has only been 45 minutes since he drank 14 ounces of formula and ate his approximate weight in Cherry Puffs. If I don't feed him soon, I fear he may wither. Bless him.

****I need the name of a great- child-friendly barber for Sir's mane. It is too long to spike and his head is to big to comb it "little boy" style. Trust me, it just is. He looks like Mr Lopard from Handy Manny and I just can't have my baby looking like that for other people to see. WITH.THEIR.EYES. Help a sista out, will ya? Recommendations?***** You can Facebook or leave a comment here. Thx.

Ummm. What else? OH! I need some advice: OK, so we got LOTS of new fish for our 55 gallon tank. It looks really cool now, except the water is cloudy. So cloudy that you can't see the back of the tank? We just changed the filters and did a water replacement yesterday and I swear the water is cloudier now than it was before? Does anyone else have this problem? If so, what did you do? Water clarifier? We (and by WE, I totally mean, MP) vaccumed all it last night and it isn't helping. Or am I the only idiot to invest in a 55 gallon fish tank?

Am I crazy?

7/29/09

OMG. I cannot believe it has been almost a week since my last post. I am appalled! Anyway- I’m over it now. So this past week has been less than stellar. Both of my children were sick with croup last week and then I had to wake up on Saturday with some mutant hybrid crossbreed of flu, sinusitis, and what appeared to be the PLAGUE. Only 2 times in my life can I ever recall feeling this bad: Once in Feb 2008, I had the original influenza that could be kicked with Tamiflu, except when you're pregnant, which I was, but I digress and once back in November 2008, when I had pneumonia. That pneumonia lasted- I kid you not, for 6 agonizing months. After multiple doctor visits and my approximate weight in antibiotics and steroids, I was sent to a pulmonologist only to discover that not only could I now lift a car with the sheer force of my mind, but I also had asthma. I know?! So back to Monday, like 2 days ago, I felt so bad that I came to work knowing good and well, I was never going to make it a full day. I left 2 hours into my 8 hour work day, but I mean, kudos for me- AT LEAST I TRIED. So, I got home and tried to sleep, but could not due to the excessive cough/mucus/phlegm issues. You’re welcome. So I took Mucinex DM. I don’t know if you guys have ever taken this 12 hour miracle cure, but let me just say O.M.G. I still felt horrible, but I had the energy of a high-strung toddler on a sugar-infused caffeine bender. Too sick to leave the house, but too wired to even consider sleep, I watched a lot of television and played an embarrassing amount of FarmVille via Facebook. I did get up shortly before MP got home with the carrier monkeys and despite my illness, I managed to bake some okra and skillet some squash and onions. MP grilled steaks upon his arrival and it was AWESOME! At least I heard it was. I wouldn’t know because I couldn’t taste it. However, I did notice that I was able to chew it without nearly as much pain as before, so TongueGate09 may be on its way to resolving soon. Also, I do feel much better today so yay for that. And for Afrin nasal spray. You are my hero.

*DividerlinenothingtoseehereDividerlinenothingtoseehereDividerlinenothingtoseehere*

In other news, Big Sir got promoted to the 1 year old room, like yesterday! I am excited because at a $40 per month savings, I totally requested it, but I am saddened too because I didn’t realize that the 1 year old room does not allow bottles. Did you all read that? NO.BOTTLES.ALLOWED. It's a dry county is what it is. Sippy cups only, which I get, but man. My baby doesn’t even know how to use a sippy cup yet?! Sure he can eat an entire piece of pizza with absolutely no assistance needed and he doesn’t shy away from the food off others’ plates, but still. What if he starves? It does help tremendously to not have to mix up 4 (8) oz bottles in the morning, but I almost miss that little chore. I get that he is one step closer to independence, but mixing the bottles? To me, that was one less step from being a full grown human. As if that wasn’t enough, the 1 year olds don’t even sleep in cribs! They nap. On nap mats. On the floor. With the germs. Like dogs. Augh. My poor baby. (Note to self: order custom nap pad ASAP- cannot stand the thought of him sleeping on the germs of other children. Yuck.) I don’t ever remember going thru this with Brogan. I think with her I was just so glad she was growing up. Having never actually had a baby before, she rocked our worlds and I wanted some normalcy back. I was grateful for her to take one step towards toddlerhood, but Swaid? Not so much. I think the problem is knowing that MP and I do not plan on having any more children. I wouldn’t curse it if it happened, but we’re just not planning on it. I want my baby to be a baby a little longer. The time has gone by way too fast for my liking. I mean, Sir will turn 1 in like, 3 weeks and I haven’t even planned his party! Not because I don’t want to have one, but because I blinked and all of a sudden it’s August. If I were at Hogwart’s, I would totally have a time turner…I’m just sayin’

Am I crazy? Am I the only person who has ever wished adulthood on one child, but regretted every step of growing up for another?

Sneak preview

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
1. 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

My testimony is pretty simple. I don’t have any extraordinary turn around moments. I was never sold to a band of gypsies. I wasn’t deserted in a foreign region only to be witnessed to by rainforest natives. I wasn’t raised by a vegetarian pack of silverback koala monkeys. No, nothing like that. I have no bells or whistles to offer. I have nothing that will make you shake your head and say, “I just cannot believe it”, but I CAN guarantee you that the Lord doesn’t see my salvation story as anything but SPECTACULAR! To Him, my story is a Tony Award winning Broadway Play starring Mary Magdalene. Peter and Paul would give it two thumbs up if they were critics. To Him, he sees nothing ordinary about my coming to know Him. To Him it is a joyous occasion, if not THE most joyous occasion there ever was. An occasion meant to be celebrated. If I were a betting woman, I would slap a $20 down and confidently declare that a Heavenly party was thrown in my honor on that day. I would tell you that this party? It put any one of Sean “P. Diddy” Combs’ parties to shame. Puff’s annual “White Party?” Ain’t got nothing on the celebration that was thrown for me in Heaven that day. People magazine would write that Heaven is the new “hot spot.” Celebrities would be begging to get in. I can see it now: Cue dream sequence music…..

The red carpet was laid out and the pearly gates were shining. A Chariot of Fire pulls up and out steps Jesus. Onlookers stand in awe. The paparazzi snap pictures, but they don’t worry about trying to get His good side. He is beautiful. He is nothing BUT good sides. Our Father makes his way to His throne, stopping to greet everyone there. He reaches His throne, but before sitting, He turns to the crown and with arms raised, proudly declares that *I* had answered His call. You can hear the adoration in his sweet voice. He smiles so big you almost can’t see his gentle eyes. He is a proud Father. If he had bubble gum cigars, He would totally be passing them out. The trumpets blare. The angels rejoice. The disciples are so overcome with joy that they can hardly sit still. My great grandparents clap along with all those who went before me. The applause is deafening. He writes my name in the Book of Life. He cries happy tears and before the ink has even dried, the Book is shut. After that a celebration greater than the combined all eight seasons of “My Super Sweet Sixteen” commenced and under all eleventy-gabillion stars, I am sure they danced until dawn. I can just see Daniel and Jonathan high-fiving. I’m sure they even chest-bumped. There may have even been a mosh-pit. I’m just sayin’…..

I mean, I wasn’t there, but in my mind that is totally how I picture it all going down. How awesome is that? He knows my name? He celebrates my re-birth? He calls me his own? Wow. I am almost without words. I am His daughter. He loves me. Say it with me now, WOW.

Don't hate....

Oh wow. So, don’t hate. I’m been so distracted lately, I haven’t even thought about blogging. Don’t take it personal, I haven't thought about cooking, cleaning or grocery shopping either. Oh, don't look at me like that. You KNOW you've had those days (or weeks) too! But between 2 sick children and TongueGate 09, I’ve been all out of sorts! Anyway, there’s really not too much going on; although, I DO need to report that MP totally backed into my mother’s car this morning. I wish I could say it was the first time he hit her car, buuuuut it wasn’t. I also wish I could say that this was the first vehicle he’s backed into ever, buuuuut it isn’t. I’m not one to throw anyone under a bus though, so I’ll leave it at that. Smile. I love him. He probably hates me right now, but it was so, so funny you guys. The funniest part was when the rain started to come down as he was trying to separate the two vehicles. Sigh- it was Classic. Oh, and my mother laughed so hard I thought she was going to fall off our back porch. Good times. Of course, I facebooked about it. I had to. Nothing is sacred around these parts.

TongueGate 09 update: I went back to Dr. Dental yesterday because I am still having serious (or surrus in rapper-speak) pain. I'ts hard to explain...It doesn’t hurt to TOUCH the tongue- it hurts to USE the tongue. More specifically, it hurts to stick it out, so I can’t lick an ice cream cone, or eat a sucker, or antagonize my toddler. It hurts to chew gum and to swallow, oh and to talk. I hope all that makes sense. I’ve been referred to an oral surgeon and I’ll see him tomorrow. Dr Dental thinks now that it may not be nerve damage as he'd previously though, but muscle damage instead. Which is good because the muscle will heal…I hope. Dr Dental was all “let’s get her in with Dr Dental II…it’s not an emergency, but see if he can see her as soon as possible” and I was all, “Um. I beg to differ- this IS emergent, for I cannot eat a Tootsie Pop!” So yea, tomorrow it is. We’ll see.

Work is also crazy, super busy. It’s almost overwhelming, but it’ll be fine. I just wish people would stop getting hurt on the job for like 2 seconds. Really, guys- can’t you cut me some slack? I understand you cut the tip of your finger off in a tragic, 1st digit-to-saw accident, but WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?! I kid. It is unfortunate.

So um, M. DIDDY- funny Brogan conversation held this AM:

BB: Good mernin’, Mommy.
ME: Good morning, Princess. Did you sleep well?
BB: Stop talking to me. I am trying to sleep.
ME: But, you just….
BB: SHHHHH!

She cut me off mid-sentence! I was offended, but I let it slide because both she and Baby Swaid are sick this week. Croup. I just want to give a shout out to the kid that infected my kids: “Thx. That’ll be $160.00 in medicals and an unfathomable amount of money in my pain and suffering. Make checks payable to me.”

What else? Oh, so I’m on FarmVille now. I blame Elizabeth, cousin-in-law extraordinaire, for that. If you FaceBook, be my neighbor. Oh, and also send me a cow, please. I really want one!

Fun fact:

81- I cannot stand to be in crowds. If you see me bobbing and weaving like an elderly driver on I-55 North at 5:15 PM that doesn’t understand why you cannot exit Woodrow Wilson AND make the immediate right turn onto Lakeland Drive, don’t be alarmed. I am just trying to get out of the church sanctuary because I am physically unable to cope with people touching me in crowds. I often have to leave MP’s side to JUST.GET.OUT! and then just meet up with him in the lobby. If you try to stop me and I keep walking, please don’t think I’m rude- I’m really not. It’s the crowds I don’t like, not you. You? Are wonderful!

You know what? That’s all I’m gonna write today. HOLLA!

God Moment

God Moment

Last night, before, during and after my TLC: Trio of Television Wonder, I began shopping iTunes on my phone and downloaded about 20 amazing Christian songs. I have been listening to a lot more K Love lately. Oh, I listent to it. I've just been listening to it more than usual. Anyway, did you know that when you listen to Christian music as opposed to say, Wreckx-N-Effect, you feel uplifted? I mean, “Rump Shaker” is a great song and all- I’ll give you that, but NOTHING compares to Casting Crowns’ “Voice of Truth.” I know, preacher has preached before and has, on more than one occasion, mentioned how our choice of music can affect our overall mood, but apparently it hadn’t really sunk in with me. Now, please don’t misunderstand me. I love praise and worship music and I listen to K Love in the car…..when I’m not listening to Y101 and I’ve got some praise and worship music on my iPhone that I listen to…….when I’m not breaking it down to Fergie. I just don’t have THAT many songs to choose from. So, with my $50.00 in iTunes gift cards, I went a shoppin’. And do you know what happened, you guys? Before I knew it, I was absolutely overcome with the Spirit and found myself in tears, hands raised, and singing “Sing to the King.” I know, right? “Satan is vanquished and JESUS is KING!” It was absolutely amazing and I wished the night hadn’t come to end, but momma needed some sleep, yo. And so this morning, on my way to work, I listened to my newly purchased music and guess what? I didn’t even yell at the guy who cut me off on Lakeland Drive. But even better than that, I did even WANT to yell at the guy who cut me off on Lakeland Drive. Instead, I was all, “Well heloooo. Come on over! I’ll make room…And a tip of the hat to YOU, good sir.” Oh, that should be read in your best Scottish accent. Or British, I haven’t quite decided yet, but how cool is that? I like it. I like it a lot.

wow

OK, it is late and I am tired so I'll make this brief. I just got sucked into watching TLC's "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant." I chased it with TLC's "650 lb Virgin." And because I'm a glutton for punishment, I topped THAT off with TLC's "Conjoined Twins: Sister Bond." That's right. The visuals alone will forever haunt me. The only thing better than that Trio of Television Wonder would be a combo platter featuring the "650 lb Virgin That Didn't Know She Was Pregnant with Conjoined Twins." I would totally stay up to finish that one!

G'nite!

Whirlwind Weekend

OMG. What a whirlwind weekend. I never thought I’d be glad for a weekend to be over with, but I so am. We started out with a surprise 40th Bday party is Philly (MS, not PA) on Friday night. Only we didn’t get to exit Brandon until well after 8 pm, which is really awful when traveling with a 3 year old. Fortunately, Swaid was dropped off with the MIL and wasn’t to be making this trip with us. Did I miss him? Yes. Did I regret not bringing him? NOT.AT.ALL. You guys, the boy hates to sleep anywhere but his crib. Not on a bed. Not in a pack-in-play. Not with a mouse. Not on a house. He will not eat green eggs and ham. It ain’t happenin’, much to my MIL’s chagrin. Oh, and the kid has lungs. So apparently, he didn’t go to sleep until somewhere around 8:30’ish which is a full 2 hours after his normal bedtime….. AND he had to be rocked. Outside. On the porch swing. Until he fell asleep. OMG.

Anyway- we get to Philly (MS, not PA) at ALMOST 10:00pm. I am not kidding you. We missed the actual party, but arrived at the bday gal’s house like 4 minutes before they got home. It was cool and there were about 3 other couples that joined us. Apparently they all stayed up ‘til the 3 AM hour playing spades, but I am old for that so MP and I hit the hay at midnight. Brogan wasn’t at all happy about it either, but we made her go to bed with us. Next AM, we got up around 8:30’ish, ate breakfast (or brak-fast, as my daddy would say), visited ‘til 10:00 AM and left. We made the drive BACK to Brandon in order to be at our second birthday party of the weekend. It was at Shiloh Splash Park and it was not for a 40 year old. It was for a 3 year old and it would have been so much fun, had Brogan not decided to expand her hatred of grass and space jumps to include splash parks as well. I have never been so embarrassed in all of my days. Brogan told people she didn’t like them and to leave her alone. She screamed. She cried. She didn’t like the water. She didn’t want to get wet. She didn’t like the splashing. She didn’t like Baby Swaid getting in the water AND splashing. She didn’t like the sun. She didn’t like the sunscreen. She didn’t like the people. She didn’t like for MP to be wet. She didn’t like her swimsuit. She wouldn’t even WEAR her swimsuit. She didn’t want to be talked to. She didn’t want to be looked at. She didn’t like me being wet. She didn’t like me PERIOD. She wanted a popsicle and a Capri sun. OK, I’ll buy you a popsicle and a Capri sun if you’ll quit being “THAT KID”. I have no cash, but surely the water takes debit card. Surely! Maybe? Please…. The water park? DOES NOT TAKE A CARD! So, we’re back to square one with all the hatred and for a minute, I understand why people list their kids for sell on Craigslist. I don’t condone it, but I understand it. After an hour of this nonsense, we decide to leave and I offer not only my apologies, but money to the host to reimburse her for the fee she paid for Brogan to not enjoy anything at all. Of course, she has to take a check, because remember- I have no cash. She declines and in return offers me sympathy and a kind word. God bless her.

We come home. All 4 of us nap, but not nearly long enough. I can’t really remember the rest of Saturday afternoon, but we did have UFC at the house that night. I was about to lose my mind with the whining and the crying so I made my escape to Borders to meet my VBFF, Lacey and to throw away $4 on a Chai Tea Latte. No seriously, it was $4. I sipped it. I tried hard not to vomit because coffee drinks should NOT taste like Italian seasonings and I threw it away. We had so much fun. We looked at kids books and best sellers and we almost got suckered into buying a series that Lacey said, “looks a lot like Fear Street….FOR ADULTS!” It is still on my Amazon wish list. After the bookstore, we hit Newks for dinner @ 9:00 and our eyes were violated by a young couple making out in the booth. Passive aggressively, I Facebooked about it, rather than actually asking them to stop. It’s just what I do. Come home, oh good! Brogan’s still up and it’s nearly 10pm! Watch the rest of UFC. Still think that George St. Pierre is ADORABLE and I figuratively put him in my pocket so I can bring him out on a rainy day. He is just that cute.

SUNDAY- ok. So we didn’t make it to church on Sunday, but here’s why. MP got up with Swaid @ 6:30 and I stayed in bed with Brogan until 8:30. I know- MP is AWESOME! So I got up and MP said, “I’m gonna lie down for a minute.” Cool. I’ll just wake him up at 10:00 so we can go to 11:00 service. Well, guess what happened at 10:00? BOTH KIDS FELL ASLEEP. And guess what happened at 10:30? BOTH KIDS WERE STILL ASLEEP. So guess what I did? I DID NOT WAKE SLEEPING KIDS. I didn’t. They were tired and I was still reeling from Brogan’s fiendish behavior from 24 hours prior. I couldn’t do it again. So, I let MP and kids sleep and I clipped coupons. Once everyone was up and lunch was eaten, we headed to Bass Pro! This is our favorite place to go. Brogan LOVES it. It is free and it is air-conditioned. MP loves hunting and the boats. They have shoes. They have Starbucks. It really can’t get any better. We are there until 3:00 and remember, “yo- we got Bday party #3 in Clinton at 4.” We don’t want to drive back home to turn around and drive all the way back so we get iced mochas and kill time. Left @ 3:30, drive to Clinton for 4pm bday party. I was a little apprehensive because, well did you READ the 2nd paragraph?! But surprisingly, Brogan was AMAZING. This party was for her best friend, Claudia. A cute little doll-faced, precious child whom I just adore! Bebe had the best time and Swaid was just happy to be there. We left the party at 5:15 to go see my grandmother who also lives in Clinton. We had a nice visit AND I hooked her up with a new cleaning lady that starts this week. We leave and drive straight….you’re hoping I say “home” right? Well no. We head to my BIL / SIL house for the best steak known to man. Only I just get to hear about people talk about how good it is because I have a hole in my tongue and still can’t eat solid foods. Brogan slept thru dinner and Swaid was SO.HAPPY! We left there around 8’ish and came home. Put both kids in bed and relaxed. Overall it was a really nice weekend, but too much was crammed in. I feel like we ran all over creation and so we didn’t really get to enjoy everything as much as we should have been able to. It’s cool though. This weekend I plan on doing nothing. That’s right. Nothing. We have an invite to another Bday party @ the Splash Park on Saturday, but we ALSO have a wedding invite for the same time. I plan on sending gifts to both, but will probably not be in attendance. I say that, but really I will probably take SWAID to the bday party for Brogan’s friend and let her stay home hating people, grass, space jumps and water parks. It would just be easier on all of us.

Product Placement Friday

OK, because I am super, crazy busy at the moment, I’m gonna just pimp out a few products and call it a day. Does that work for you? Ok, good.

1- Fabuloso: This all-purpose household cleaner, in one word, is FABULOSO. It comes in spray form and also jumbo Sam’s Club form. I prefer the latter because I use it every day. For everything. It also comes in several “flavors”. I don’t know if “flavors” is the correct terminology, but work with me. Personally, I think the lavender is the best. But to be fair to the other “flavors”, I technically haven’t used them. I’m like that though. Once I like something, I will very rarely venture out and try something different. I mean, if it ain’t broke…. We used to have a housekeeper a few months ago that turned us on to this. She told me that you can also pour some in a pot and simmer it on the stove and it would make the whole house smell good. I tried this and while it DOES work, you have to be very careful not to let it simmer down to where it burns in the pot. Because then your house will smell the exact opposite of good to the nth degree. AND it takes FOREVER to make the smell go away.

2- Sexy Hair Concepts: Big Sexy Hair Shine Spray. I mean, WOW. This stuff makes your hair look AMAZING, even if you truly don’t have AMAZING hair. Even if you have the unhealthiest hair on the planet, Even if you have no hair at all! I guarantee you will love the way it makes your hair (or head) shine. It is fabulous. Truth be told, I haven’t used it as much lately, but I broke it out this AM and gave a spritz or 2 to my locks and low and behold, INSTANT SHINE! You DO have to be careful though when applying to your crown area. Hold the spray back a good 6 inches and only 1 spritz please. If you overdo it in that particular area, it will have the opposite effect and make your roots look as if they haven’t been washed in like…well, EVER. A little goes a long way is the thing to remember here.

OK- and for M. Diddy's sake, you should all know that Brogan asked for her "fan mail" yesterday as we drove past the mailbox.